Watching Knocked Up at Super Chris' house, I was reminded of a conversation I had with GP not long ago. I asked him if he a girl he didn't have feelings for, but who he found physically attractive asked him to sleep with her, would he do it? Obviously, the answer is yes, right? Were I not in a relationship, and a hot guy made the same offer to me, I would seriously be considering it - as evident by the stuff with Charmeleon. Then I asked GP the same question, only this time, adding in the condition that he was a virgin. I found it surprising that he didn't change his answer. He said that he considers virgin nothing more than a label, and it doesn't really hold much value other than to categorise people - ie. people who have had sex and people who haven't.
I guess way back in the old days (before I was born even - so that must be really old!) one way to guarantee that the child that resulted from your wedding night was yours was to ensure that the girl you married was a virgin, although I'm not really sure how you would go about that, but I'm sure they had some sort of mystical way. In an episode of Scrubs, Janitor says to people who have lied, "God is watching", and they feel compelled to tell the truth - although later in that episode, he also says, "Who is this God that everyone fears?" So to some degree, I think the idea of there being a "God" who will smite you down if you have sex before you are married was enough to stop most women from just throwing themselves out there, but now that we have so many methods of contraception, do we really need such an archaic belief? Not only do we have contraception, but we have paternity tests, so even if someone became pregnant, it is possible to work out who the father is - unless the confusion is between a set of genetically identical twins or something like that, then I'm not sure what to do.
There are plenty of people who still hold virginity in high regard - I'm one of them, in fact. Not for religious reasons, but in terms of something like your first step, your first day of school, the first time you sleep away from home, etc. It's kinda like a milestone. Though that opens up a whole other can of worms, with the whole expectation that guys should achieve that milestone as soon as possible, and the idea that girls who have been there, done that before a certain age are seen as sluts, whores, being "easy". Stereotypes aside, I think that if the entire thing with Charmeleon would have meant that he would have been my first, I don't think I would have gone along with it. Mostly because I wouldn't want the everlasting memory of my first time to have been with someone I didn't have romantic feelings for, but there was also another factor.
Charmeleon was the kind of guy who knew what he wanted in bed, and seeing as he was the second guy I had been with, I wasn't nearly as experienced as he was in that department. Obviously, being with him meant that I picked up some stuff I would never have learnt otherwise - AG didn't really seem to be into trying something new, it was usually me who prodded him into doing something different, although vibrating condom was his idea (just a little advice: those things vibrate for aaaaaaaaaaaaages, and it is quite disturbing lying on a bed cuddling with someone, while the sound of a vibrating condom hums in the background). I think I would have been really intimidated by his experience, and seeing as he wanted sex, I had the feeling that if I hadn't had any experience at all, he wouldn't have enjoyed it, and if that's what I'm going to have to remember as my first time, I think it would have been enough to put me off sex forever.
So what made things with AG different? Well, for one, I knew that he cared about me, and that would have meant he would have been more forgiving of my completely failure to please him sexually. Not only that, but we weren't together primarily for sex, so even if it completely bombed, we'd still do other things together, and maybe give it another shot in the future, if it was something he still wanted to do with me. There wasn't as much pressure to be the super sex goddess (although, I was still nervous as hell that he wouldn't like it), and I knew that even if I was terrible, he would be patient with me and not just dump me for some other girl who can suck a watermelon through a straw.
I have to say, Charmeleon never did that. Pressure me, I mean. He knew that I had only been with one other guy, and even though he slept with other girls, he never made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him, and he was perfectly happy to help me be better in bed. Even though we're not sleeping together any more, we still talk occasionally, and I'd like to think that we are still friends, without benefits.
All of this has just given me more things to think about in regards to the weird things sex does to you, but I think his post has gotten long enough, so to be continued...!
I guess way back in the old days (before I was born even - so that must be really old!) one way to guarantee that the child that resulted from your wedding night was yours was to ensure that the girl you married was a virgin, although I'm not really sure how you would go about that, but I'm sure they had some sort of mystical way. In an episode of Scrubs, Janitor says to people who have lied, "God is watching", and they feel compelled to tell the truth - although later in that episode, he also says, "Who is this God that everyone fears?" So to some degree, I think the idea of there being a "God" who will smite you down if you have sex before you are married was enough to stop most women from just throwing themselves out there, but now that we have so many methods of contraception, do we really need such an archaic belief? Not only do we have contraception, but we have paternity tests, so even if someone became pregnant, it is possible to work out who the father is - unless the confusion is between a set of genetically identical twins or something like that, then I'm not sure what to do.
There are plenty of people who still hold virginity in high regard - I'm one of them, in fact. Not for religious reasons, but in terms of something like your first step, your first day of school, the first time you sleep away from home, etc. It's kinda like a milestone. Though that opens up a whole other can of worms, with the whole expectation that guys should achieve that milestone as soon as possible, and the idea that girls who have been there, done that before a certain age are seen as sluts, whores, being "easy". Stereotypes aside, I think that if the entire thing with Charmeleon would have meant that he would have been my first, I don't think I would have gone along with it. Mostly because I wouldn't want the everlasting memory of my first time to have been with someone I didn't have romantic feelings for, but there was also another factor.
Charmeleon was the kind of guy who knew what he wanted in bed, and seeing as he was the second guy I had been with, I wasn't nearly as experienced as he was in that department. Obviously, being with him meant that I picked up some stuff I would never have learnt otherwise - AG didn't really seem to be into trying something new, it was usually me who prodded him into doing something different, although vibrating condom was his idea (just a little advice: those things vibrate for aaaaaaaaaaaaages, and it is quite disturbing lying on a bed cuddling with someone, while the sound of a vibrating condom hums in the background). I think I would have been really intimidated by his experience, and seeing as he wanted sex, I had the feeling that if I hadn't had any experience at all, he wouldn't have enjoyed it, and if that's what I'm going to have to remember as my first time, I think it would have been enough to put me off sex forever.
So what made things with AG different? Well, for one, I knew that he cared about me, and that would have meant he would have been more forgiving of my completely failure to please him sexually. Not only that, but we weren't together primarily for sex, so even if it completely bombed, we'd still do other things together, and maybe give it another shot in the future, if it was something he still wanted to do with me. There wasn't as much pressure to be the super sex goddess (although, I was still nervous as hell that he wouldn't like it), and I knew that even if I was terrible, he would be patient with me and not just dump me for some other girl who can suck a watermelon through a straw.
I have to say, Charmeleon never did that. Pressure me, I mean. He knew that I had only been with one other guy, and even though he slept with other girls, he never made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him, and he was perfectly happy to help me be better in bed. Even though we're not sleeping together any more, we still talk occasionally, and I'd like to think that we are still friends, without benefits.
All of this has just given me more things to think about in regards to the weird things sex does to you, but I think his post has gotten long enough, so to be continued...!
