Bane of My Existence

Can you guess when my subscription to Photoshop ran out based on the recent quality of my images?

I got asked a question, "If I were a Dota hero, which one would I be?" which sounds like a question from one of those ad-filled websites, "Which is your spirit power ranger?" but I did try to answer it sincerely, and in the end, I chose Bane.

My most played hero are Crystal Maiden, Rubick and Silencer, and my most successful hero (with more than 10 games) is Magnus (75% with 12 games) - though more realistically, KotL (60% with 122 games). But I don't think any of those heroes suit my personality. I like Silencer the most, because I like stealing people's int, as I know how frustrating it can be playing heroes like Crystal Maiden, who really feel it when they have a diminished mana pool. I don't think he suits my personality though.

The first hero that jumped out at me was Bane. Mostly because of his ult, and I think this is probably a core part of my personality (Bane's ultimate skill is Fiend's Grip, and is a channelled spell which stops your target from being able to do anything except writhe around in pain, but you can't do anything else either as you have to focus your attention on them 100%). I find that when something or someone captures my attention, it absorbs my focus. Almost to the point that I would say I have an addictive personality. When the target of my attention is a person, then that's where the trouble begins. I find that I become hyperaware. For instance, a week ago, NMG was invisible to me. Sure, I knew who he was, and I'd talk to him when the need arose, but other than that, he was white noise. Ever since the moustache compliment challenge, I've become incredibly aware of where he is at all times. I can pick his voice out of a crowd. I've started noticing things like when he arrives at work, when he tends to go to lunch, when he goes for a coffee, where he likes to sit in meetings.

Fortunately, there will usually be someone around to interrupt my ultimate, before I go too far off the deep end. But there was one case where I finished channelling, and let's just say, my poor victim is married to me now.

As for his other skills:

Enfeeble: reduces an enemy hero's attack damage.
In a weird way, I think I do this by befriending people. It's possible that it's just because of my gender, but I find that my co-workers are less inclined to say bad things to me, or blame me for things, and I think it's because I'm friendly. Jal says that nobody minds it when I change their desktop background, or leave silly text documents on their computer because they like me. Not that I see my co-workers as enemies!

Brain sap: drains life from an enemy hero.
MrFodder always accuses me of draining his energy. I very rarely drink coffee and get up a stupid o'clock, yet somehow I'm annoyingly cheerful at work. His theory is that he's always so tired because I drain his energy away.

Nightmare: Bane puts an enemy hero to sleep. If the slept target is attacked, the attacker will fall asleep.
Well, I think this blog speaks enough on its own. Have you seen my 4000 word diatribes on Star Wars?! And then if some poor sap gets tricked into linking it to one of their friends, well, let me tell you: let this nightmare never end.

For a creepy note to end this post, as Bane would say, "See you in your dreams." (Warning: it's kinda loud)

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

Today was moustache compliment day! Here's the summary of events, so you, too, can experience the rollercoaster ride. It all started 4 days ago, when MrMoustache challenged me to compliment the moustache of someone at work by the end of the month. I debated whether or not to bake him a cake saying, "Nice moustache!", but based on feedback from my peers, opted not to and decided that I should tell him in person. Note: It's not like we have a background of great rapport or anything. Our history is mostly work-related conversation, or him smiling questioningly at me while I leave surprises on people's desks or film my movies.

On Friday, we had a team lunch organised, and my plan was to contrive it so that I would be able to sit next to him. I had actually timed it perfectly, and the seat next to him was free when I arrived, however, one of my co-workers jumped ahead of me and sat next to him. I ended up sitting on the other side of the table, two seats away from him.

I didn't think shouting, "I think you have a nice moustache!" across the table would make for appropriate lunch conversation, and would probably make him feel embarrassed.

He did try to talk to me, and eventually, the topic turned to gaming (I discovered that he likes strategy games). Person (who invited him anyway?!?!?!) decided now would be a good time to ask, "Guess how many hours Fodder has spent playing Dota 2?" NiceMoustacheGuy looked at me, and I was incredibly aware that he was about to find out just how much of a dork I am. I mumbled, "Four thousand hours..." and became incredibly engrossed in my lunch. Fortunately, in a rare display of consideration, Person changed the topic. I didn't really get much of a chance to talk to him after that, as Jal and I started talking about Starcraft, so lunch was a bust.

Another thing I learned is that if I angle the picture of Adam West on my desk in a particular way, I can see NMG in the reflection of the glass.

I also found out that he wouldn't be in the office tomorrow, so today was the only day I had left. As further motivation for me, Michael said that if I couldn't do it, he would stop being my friend, as he can't be friends with failures.

PAX Saturday was a promising day. I complimented that guy, but also got a photo of myself wearing the ghost hat from Mario Odessey, and a moustache. I thought it'd be something that I could use at work to segue into the compliment. "Look what I did at PAX over the weekend. I thought you'd find it funny since you have such a nice moustache yourself."

I was all psyched up for Monday. I even had a practice run with Michael before NMG got into work. Everything looked good. But after an hour of waiting for him to arrive at work, I was starting to get really nervous. After he finally arrived, I gave him 10 minutes to catch up on emails and finish his coffee. Then he got called over to fix something. Once he was done, he had something else to fix. It seems like something happened over the weekend with one of our other systems, and he was helping to put out the fires.

My sneaky Adam West mirror ended up being helpful, as I saw that he was preparing to go to the kitchen and get a drink, so I proceeded to try and chug the water in my mug so that I could get a drink, too. Not a great idea, but I powerwalked to catch up to him, hoping that he'd be alone. Unfortunately, when I entered the kitchen, someone else was talking to him, and there was a long line for water. I pretended to casually wave my mug around, as though it was empty, but in actual fact, it was still half-full, and I was trying not to spill anything. I finally caught NMG's attention, but I panicked, and all I could say was, "So... do you know whether Lenny named his baby yet?" Michael sent me an IM, "*epic fail*". Yes, yes it was. *sigh*

I took a lunch break, and used that to have another practice run, this time with MrBrioche.

As I returned from lunch, I saw that NMG still looked busy, and was engrossed in conversation with a couple of other people. I also noticed that his computer was unlocked.

We have this game in our team, where if you catch someone with their computer unlocked, you can change their desktop wallpaper to something embarrassing. I snuck over to his computer and start changing his wallpaper. My heart is beating so fast, and my hands are shaking. I've done this so many times I could probably do it in my sleep, but I had a mental blank.

Then I hear him behind me, "What are you doing, Fodder?"

I look up guiltily. "Nothing!" I run away to my desk, but before my courage deserts me, I add, "I have something I want to show you!"

I grab my phone, but chicken out from showing him the Mario photo, and instead opt for a photo of a tram with a moustache.

"Have you seen these trams with moustaches?"
"No."
"I thought it was pretty cool, and that maybe you'd like it since your moustache is so nice."

He freezes. "Fodder, can we please talk?"

I follow him into an empty meeting room and he shuts the door behind me. I start to think he's going to tell me that he's married and not interested. I'm trying to come up with a good way to explain that I'm not trying to hit on him, and contemplate telling him about MrMoustache's challenge. But then it would invalidate my compliment about his moustache, as he'd think I only said it because of the challenge.

"I forgot that you're new to the team," he says. I am not, I've been in the team for nearly a year now! But I didn't say anything. "A couple of years ago, I got some pretty bad news."

That wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

He continues. "It was..." he lowers his voice to a whisper, "cancer." At his regular volume, "During chemo, I lost a lot of my hair, including my moustache. My wife really loved it, but it never really grew back properly. This is actually a fake one that I wear."

I watch in horror as he slowly tears it off, revealing a naked upper lip.

"I don't really like to talk about it, and I appreciate your comment, but it's not really something I like to think about."

-------------------------------------

No, not really. That's what was going through my head, as the worst case scenario for what would happen if I complimented his moustache. Here's the actual conversation.

NMG: What are you doing Fodder?
Me: Nothing!
*runs to desk*
Me: Actually, I have something I want to show you.
*shows him the tram with a moustache*
Me: Have you seen these trams with moustaches?
NMG: No.
Me: I thought it was pretty cool, and that maybe you'd like it since your moustache is so nice. I was walking around the CBD to find lunch and I saw it.
NMG: Ah, the 96 tram, huh?
Me: I've seen them on a bunch of trams, this is just one that I managed to get a photo of. It's probably for Movember. Are you doing it this year?
NMG: No.
*it dawns on me that maybe he didn't hear my compliment buried in everything else*
Me: Ah, yeah, it would mean you'd have to shave your moustache first.
(Why didn't I slip in Michael's line about it being a pity to lose such a nice moustache?!)
NMG: Yeah
Me: How long have you had it?
NMG: Oh, probably about 5 years.
Me: I was reading about someone who was doing a reverse Movember. He has had his moustache for 46 years. If he manages to hit his fundraising goal, he's going to shave it off!
NMG: I would feel weird without my moustache.
Me: Yeah... well... it's good. Not like the trams.
NMG: Like Groucho Marx
Me: Yours?
NMG: No, the trams.

Please cringe on my behalf, because I feel like I haven't cringed enough. It was about as awkward as it reads. But more importantly, I completed the challenge.

Then I drew this stupid moustache on my hand, at the request of MrMoustache, except it isn't coming off! I tried soap, but you can still see it. I hope he doesn't see my hand tomorrow, because that's going to be awkward to explain.

Oh, wait, he's not in tomorrow. Perfect!

The Prequel Menace - Dance of Light and Dark

As much as the prequels are given crap, I think this poster (minus the text I added) is one of the best things that has come out of the prequels (memes aside). If you are watching the movies in chronological order, then it doesn't give away the big reveal (that Anakin is Darth Vader), especially because you don 't even know who Darth Vader is at this point in the series. For people who have seen the original trilogy, it's a clever callback to the surprise, and I thought it was a nice play on foreshadowing, as it's literally a shadow. As I mentioned earlier, it is going to be a tough trick to have someone turn to the dark side, and still have the audience sympathise with the character. They also needed to have a good reason for him to turn back to the light side in Return of the Jedi.

Here's what we learned about Anakin's turn to the dark side from the original trilogy:

In A New Hope:

                                     LUKE
                         How did my father die?

                                     BEN
                         A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who 
                         was a pupil of mine until he turned 
                         to evil, helped the Empire hunt down 
                         and destroy the Jedi Knights. He 
                         betrayed and murdered your father. 
                         Now the Jedi are all but extinct. 
                         Vader was seduced by the dark side 
                         of the Force.

And Empire Strikes Back:

On Dagobah:

    CREATURE
   (irritated)
  I cannot teach him.  The boy has 
  no patience.

Luke's head spins in the direction the creature faces.  But there is no 
one there.  The boy is bewildered, but it gradually dawns on him that 
the little creature is Yoda, the Jedi Master, and that he is speaking 
with Ben.

    BEN'S VOICE
  He will learn patience.

    YODA
  Hmmm.  Much anger in him, like his father.

And later, in Cloud City with Vader:

    LUKE
  I'll never join you!

    VADER
  If you only knew the power of the 
  dark side.  Obi-Wan never told 
  you what happened to your father.

    LUKE
  He told me enough! It was you 
  who killed him.

    VADER
  No.  I am your father.

Finally, in Return of the Jedi:

LUKE
Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me?

The ghost of Ben Kenobi approaches him through the swamp.

LUKE
You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.

BEN
You father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be 
Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good 

man who was your father was destroyed. So what I have told you 

was true... from a certain point of view.

LUKE  (turning away, derisive)
A certain point of view!

BEN
Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend 
greatly on our own point of view.

Luke is unresponsive. Ben studies him in silence for a moment.

BEN
Anakin was a good friend. When I first knew him, your father was 

already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was 

with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought 

that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong. 

Luke is entranced.

LUKE
There's still good in him.

BEN
He is more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.

I love Obi-Wan's "from a certain point of view" line. I use it all the time, but nobody seems to get the joke. :(

Not part of the original source material, but whenever I think of Luke's line to Vader saying Obi-Wan told him he killed his father, I always hear it as the line from the Star Wars Gangsta Rap (the Vader / Luke battle starts here: https://youtu.be/tEeAjy-05OI?t=2m19s).

Vader: Impressive, now release your anger.
You must have sensed that your friends are in danger.
Luke: Owww! Why'd you slice of my hand?
Vader: It's imperative that you understand
Obi-Wan would never bother,
Telling you about your father
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Vader: Well, there's something I must reveal then.
I'm your father.
I'm your father.

Such a great song.

What we've learned is that Anakin was a great pilot, he turned to the dark side, hunted down Jedi, and he's more machine than man. How does this play out in the prequels?

Qui-Gon stumbles upon Anakin in Watto's shop, while he's looking for parts to repair their spaceship. They land on Tatooine, which is far too remote to respect the rules of the Republic, and their money isn't any good there. Anakin, being the good-hearted kid  that he is, offers to race in the upcoming podrace, with the prize money being more than enough to cover the cost of the parts. Qui-Gon notes that he's unusually strong with the force.

QUI-GON : You should be proud of your son. He gives without any thought of
reward.
SHMI : He knows nothing of greed. He has...
QUI-GON : He has special powers.
SHMI : Yes...
QUI-GON : He can see things before they happen. That's why he appears to
have such quick reflexes. It is a Jedi trait.
SHMI : He deserves better than a slave's life.
QUI-GON : Why, certainly. Had he been born in the Republic, we would have

identified him early. The Force is unusually strong with him, that much is clear. 

Who was his father?
SHMI : There was no father. I carried him, I gave him
birth...I can't explain what happened. Can you help him?
QUI-GON : I don't know. I didn't actually come here to free slaves.

His fast-reflexes are noted in the fact that he is able to participate in pod-racing, an futuristic form of formula-1 racing, which requires incredible reflexes to avoid smashing into the side of a cliff. Signifying that he'll make a great pilot.

And he has a really high midi-chlorian count!

QUI-GON : Obi-Wan?
OBI-WAN : Yes, Master?
QUI-GON : I need an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you.
OBI-WAN : Wait a minute...
QUI-GON : I need a midi-chlorian count.
OBI-WAN : The reading is off the chart...over twenty thousand. Even 

Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-chlorian count that high!
QUI-GON : No Jedi has.
OBI-WAN : What does that mean?
QUI-GON : I'm not sure.

Qui-Gon manages to get Watto to wager Anakin's freedom on the outcome of the race, but not his mother's, so when Anakin wins, he has the opportunity to leave and be trained as a Jedi, but at the expense of choosing to leave his mother behind.

ANAKIN : Will I ever see you again?
SHMI : What does your heart tell you?
ANAKIN : I hope so...yes...I guess.
SHMI : Then we will see each other again.
ANAKIN : I will come back and free you, Mom...I promise.
SHMI : Now be brave, and don't look back... don't look back.

Despite the criticisms for this movie, there are some beautiful shots, and I think this is another one. Anakin is torn between his future as a Jedi, represented by Qui-Gon, and his past as a slave, represented by his mother. I think the fact that he chooses to turn around and say goodbye to his mother once more is something that foreshadows his eventual fate, as it's a sign that he isn't able to truly let go of his attachment to his mother - something that will be disastrous later on.

Anakin ends up saving the Naboo by piloting a ship, and like his son will do in a few movies' time, destroys the droid control ship by hitting the main reactor.  Another sign that he'll make a great pilot.

Yoda continues to express doubt in the choice to train Anakin.

As I mentioned in a previous post, as of Attack of the Clones, the young boy on Tatooine is long gone, and has been replaced by a reckless Jedi who is confident in his skills, and tends to jump in head-first, especially when the people he loves are concerned.

    CAPTAIN TYPHO
   I am very grateful you are here,
   Master Kenobi. The situation is
   more dangerous than the Senator
   will admit.

    PADMÉ
   I don't need more security, I need
   answers. I want to know who is
   trying to kill me.

    OBI-WAN
    (frowning)
   We're here to protect you
   Senator, not to start an
   investigation.

    ANAKIN
   We will find out who is trying to
   kill you Padmé, I promise you.

    OBI-WAN
   We are not going to exceed our
   mandate, my young Padawan learner.

    ANAKIN
   I meant in the interest of
   protecting her, Master, of course.

    OBI-WAN
   We are not going through this
   exercise again, Anakin. You will
   pay attention to my lead.

    ANAKIN
   Why?

    OBI-WAN
   What??!!

    ANAKIN
   Why else do you think we were
   assigned to her, if not to find
   the killer? Protection is a job
   for local security... not Jedi.
   It's overkill, Master.
   Investigation is implied in our
   mandate.

    OBI-WAN
   We will do as the Council has
   instructed, and you will learn
   your place, young one.

We also see that he's still in love with Padmé.

And he has been dreaming about his mother a lot, but not enough to actually go and visit her, it seems.

    OBI-WAN 
   You look tired.

    ANAKIN
   I don't sleep well, anymore.

    OBI-WAN 
   Because of your mother?

    ANAKIN
   I don't know why I keep dreaming
   about her.

It's hard to tell whether he isn't allowed to visit her because of his Jedi training, or because he doesn't want to visit her. But the weird thing is that he doesn't seem to even keep in contact with her. You would think with all the technology they have, he'd be able to contact her electronically in some way. Or maybe she's too poor to have an iPhone96S. Well, maybe his reluctance to return is explained by this scene that has become a meme.

    ANAKIN
   I don’t like sand. It’s coarse
   and rough and irritating, and it
   gets everywhere. Not like here.
   Here everything’s soft... and
   smooth...

Anakin is also pretty smooth, going in for a kiss.

His dreams about his mother lead him to finally search for her, and he discovers that she was sold to Cliegg Lars, who ended up freeing her and marrying her. Unfortunately, she was captured by some Tusken Raiders. Against the protests of Cliegg and Padmé, Anakin speeds off to investigate. Which kinda mirrors a scene in which Luke speeds off to check for Owen and Beru against Obi-Wan's protests. Poor Obi-Wan, nobody in the Skywalker family seems to like listening to him.

Like Luke, he arrives too late, though he is able to speak to his mother before she passes.

This leads to the first big display of anger dictating his actions, as he goes on to slaughter the Tusken Raiders that were holding his mother captive.

    ANAKIN
   Life seems so much simpler when you're

   fixing things. I'm good at fixing things.

   Always was. But I couldn't... Why'd she

   have to die? Why couldn't I save her?

   I know I could have!

    PADMÉ
   Sometimes there are things no one can fix.

   You're not all-powerful, Ani.
    ANAKIN
   Well, I should be! Someday I will be.

   I will be the most powerful Jedi ever.
   I promise you. I will even learn to stop
   people from dying.




    PADMÉ
   Anakin.

    ANAKIN
   It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's jealous!

   He's holding me back!

    PADMÉ
   What's wrong, Ani?

    ANAKIN
   I-I killed them. I killed them all. They're
   dead. Every single one of them. And not just
   the men, but the women, and the children, too.
   They're like animals, and I slaughtered them
   like animals! I hate them!

Now the only thing that stops him from giving himself entirely to the Jedi is his love for Padmé. We learn earlier that Jedi aren't supposed to love, presumably because it stops them from being able to control their emotions.

    PADMÉ
   It must be difficult having sworn
   your life to the Jedi... not being
   able to visit the places you
   like... or do the things you
   like...

    ANAKIN
   Or be with the people I love.

    PADMÉ
   Are you allowed to love? I
   thought that was forbidden for a
   Jedi.

    ANAKIN
   Attachment is forbidden.
   Possession is forbidden.
   Compassion, which I would define
   as unconditional love, is central
   to a Jedi's life, so you might say
   we're encouraged to love.

Anakin does seem to like to bend the rules when he thinks they are too rigid - seems like he's Chaotic Good.

He marries Padmé in secret, and in Revenge of the Sith, we learn that he has a jealous streak, and that Padmé is pregnant. (Notice Padmé rockin' the cinnamon bun hair?)

PADME: Wait. Not here.

ANAKIN: Yes, here! I'm tired of all this deception. I don't care if they know we're married. 

PADME: Anakin, don't say things like that. 

ANAKIN: Are you all right? You're trembling. What's going on? 

PADME: Something wonderful has happened. 

They look at each other for a long moment. 

PADME: (continuing) Ani, I'm pregnant. 

ANAKIN: That's . . . that's wonderful. 

PADME: What are we going to do? 

ANAKIN: We're not going to worry about anything right now, all right? This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life. 

Except he begins to dream about Padmé dying.

ANAKIN: It was a dream. 

PADME: Bad? 

ANAKIN: Like the ones I used to have about my mother just before she died. 

PADME: And? 

ANAKIN: It was about you. 

PADME: Tell me. 

ANAKIN: It was only a dream. 

PADME gives him a long, worried look. ANAKIN takes a deep breath. 

ANAKIN: (continuing) You die in childbirth . . . 

PADME: And the baby? 

ANAKIN: I don't know. 

PADME: It was only a dream. 

ANAKIN takes PADME in his arms. 

ANAKIN: . . . I won't let this one become real. 

Another meme incoming:

ANAKIN: I have to admit, my trust in the Jedi has been shaken.

PALPATINE: Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest. They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?

ANAKIN: I...uh... I don't know what to say.

PALPATINE: Remember back to your early teachings. All who gain power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi.

ANAKIN: The Jedi use their power for good.

PALPATINE: Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power.

ANAKIN: The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves. 

PALPATINE: And the Jedi don't? 

ANAKIN: The Jedi are selfless . . . they only care about others. 

PALPATINE smiles. 

PALPATINE: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? 

ANAKIN: No. 

PALPATINE: I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life ... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. 

ANAKIN: He could actually save people from death? 

PALPATINE: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. 

ANAKIN: What happened to him? 

PALPATINE: He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. (smiles) It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself. 

ANAKIN: Is it possible to learn this power? 

PALPATINE: Not from a Jedi. 

Considering he's now concerned about Padmé's impending death, this piques his interest. Palpatine continues to manipulate Anakin against the Jedi. He convinces them that the Jedi Council are trying to take over. When Mace Windu comes to arrest him, he tells Anakin that he has the power to save Padmé.

ANAKIN: You can't kill him, Master. He must stand trial. 

MACE WlNDU: He has too much control of the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive. 

PALPATINE: I'm too weak. Don't kill me. Please. 

ANAKIN: It is not the Jedi way . . . 

MACE raises his sword to kill the CHANCELLOR. 

ANAKIN: (continuing) He must live . . . 

PALPATINE: Please don't, please don't . . . 

ANAKIN: I need him . . . 

PALPATINE: Please don't . . . 

ANAKIN: NO!!! 
Just as MACE is about to slash PALPATINE, ANAKIN steps in and cuts off the Jedi's hand holding the lightsaber. 

ANAKIN: What have I done? 

ANAKIN sits. 

PALPATINE: You are fulfilling your destin, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force. 

ANAKIN: I will do whatever you ask. 

PALPATINE: Good. 

ANAKIN: Just help me save Padme's life. I can't live without her. I won't let her die.

PALPATINE: To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret. 

ANAKIN kneels before PALPATINE. 

ANAKIN: I pledge myself to your teachings. 

PALPATINE: Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth . . . Vader. 

ANAKIN: Thank you. my Master. 

PALPATINE: Rise.

I actually think this is a really weak scene. Sure, I understand him turning on Mace Windu and slicing his arm off (a recurring theme in the series), as Palpatine should stand trial. But Anakin seems to agree to become Palpatine's apprentice too readily. "Oh, I just killed Jedi Master Windu, OK, I'll be a sith lord now." It does make sense if you think that from Anakin's point of view, Palpatine is one of his only friends, and Palpatine seems to be a huge supporter of Padmé, so Anakin is probably incredibly grateful for that. But still, it should come as a bit of a shock to find out someone you greatly respected is a Sith lord, especially if you've been trained for such a long time to think the Sith are bad guys.

Nope, Anakin is completely aboard this train now. Maybe it's because he knows there's no way back. Not only is he on-board the train, he goes and kills the Jedi younglings. Children! This was kinda foreshadowed with the the scene where he talks about slaughtering the Tusken Raiders, but it just seems way too fast.

Obi-Wan tries to get Padmé to talk some sense into him.

PADME: I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things. 

ANAKIN: What things? 

PADME: He said you have turned to the dark side . . . that you killed younglings. 

ANAKIN: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me. 

PADME: He cares about us. 

ANAKIN: Us??! 

PADME: He knows . . . He wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love. 

ANAKIN: Love won't save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. 

PADME: At what cost? You are a good person. Don't do this. 

ANAKIN: I won't lose you the way I lost my mother! I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I'm doing it for you. To protect you. 

PADME: Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can. 

ANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be. 

PADME: I don't believe what I'm hearing . . . Obi-Wan was right. You've changed. 

ANAKIN: I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me. 

PADME: I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow. 

ANAKIN: Because of Obi-Wan? 

PADME: Because of what you've done . . . what you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back! I love you. 

ANAKIN: (seeing Obi-Wan) Liar! 

PADME turns around and. sees OBI-WAN standing in the doorway of the Naboo Cruiser. 

PADME: No! 

ANAKIN: You're with him. You've betrayed me! You brought him here to kill me! 

PADME: NO! Anakin. I swear ... I ... 

ANAKIN reaches out, and PADME grabs her throat as she starts to choke. 

OBI-WAN: Let her go, Anakin. 

ANAKIN releases his grip on the unconscious PADME and she crumples to the ground. 

ANAKIN: You turned her against me. 

OBI-WAN: You have done that yourself. 

ANAKIN: You will not take her from me. 

Yeah... you did that yourself, buddy. Again, his lack of forward-planning causing disaster. As far as Anakin is concerned, there's nothing keeping him on the side of light now. Although, it should be pointed out that the reason he turned to the dark side was to save Padmé. Now that she's dead, what reason does he have to stay a Sith Lord? I guess he has no other options left, as the Jedi are against him, and at least Palpatine seems to like him.

To summarise the end, he duels Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan defeats him, leaving him a burnt and missing limbs. He does steal his lightsabre as he leaves though - looting the raid boss? This does explain how he is able to give it to Luke though. I find it strange, as Obi-Wan didn't seem to look any other lightsabres over the course of the series. Maybe he wanted a spare in case he broke his, seeing as the Jedi temple had been raided, and he might not have the chance to make another. Though Luke mysteriously learns how to make a lightsabre between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.

Palpatine rescues him and his medical team puts him in his iconic Darth Vader suit to keep him alive.

As a whole, he had good reasons for turning (he lost his mother and didn't want to lose Padmé in the same way), but I think the way it was executed in the prequels was a bit weak as of Revenge of the Sith. They made him far too wholesome in The Phantom Menace, and even though there was a big gap between Episode 1 and Episode 2, Anakin still retains that naive personality he had in TPM, so to see him change so quickly was a bit jarring. Everything with Palpatine seemed so forced. They did foreshadow some of Anakin's changes, but I felt like he went from zero to three-hundred in the space of a few scenes.

Overall, I'd say the idea behind his turn to the dark side was good, but the execution didn't quite get there.

Edit: It just occurred to me that there's a parallel between the fight between Mace Windu and Palpatine in Revenge of the Sith, and the fight between Luke and Palpatine in Return of the Jedi.

In RotS, Palpatine is the one begging for help as Anakin watches.

Anakin ultimately chooses to side with Palpatine, and ends up pushing Mace out the window.

In RotJ, Luke is the one begging for help as Anakin watches.

(Vader gets up and moves behind the Emperor.)

Now this is pure speculation, but I would imagine Anakin has spent a lot of time brooding on where it all went wrong. Sure, he blamed Obi-Wan for a heap of things, but I wonder if at some point, over the last 16 years, he considered the point at which he chose Palpatine over Mace Windu as his big turning point. Would Padmé have died if Palpatine hadn't corrupted him? Maybe he just didn't care by this point, as everything he ever loved was gone.

Only now he finds out that his son exists. And not just that, but a daughter, too. He's conflicted about who is more important to him, but his mind flashes back to that moment on Coruscant where he chose the dark side over the light, and he decides not to make the same mistake.

He flips Palpatine over the balcony into the Death Star core.

So the prequels kinda set up his return to the light side.

PAX Aus 2017 Wrap-Up

I didn't enforce at PAX this year, and only ended up buying a Saturday pass. I feel like three days is far too much for me for one weekend, on top of working full-time. I also feel a bit like there isn't that much for me at PAX that I can't do anywhere else. I had two tasks that I wanted to accomplish: get an FFXIV T-shirt for someone, and find a board game to play with Jal.

First stop was the Make A Strip panel.

Some lovely Enforcer art:

I'm not sure what happened to Mike, but it was Jerry with Kris Straub drawing.

I hadn't been to one of these before, as I'm usually on morning shift as an Enforcer, but it seems to involve Kris (or Mike if he's there), drawing a Penny Arcade strip, while Jerry answers questions that had been submitted earlier from fans. A few of the questions were along the lines of, "Have you heard of ?"

One of the questions Jerry was asked was why he bought a bunch of Nintendo Switches for his staff members before buying one for himself. I really liked his answer: he said he did it because he wanted to work for a place where the boss did things like that, so that's what he decided to do.

Another question I'm surprised he answered was someone asked Mike what Jerry's shatterpoint is, and Jerry answered on his behalf, saying he thought he knew what Mike thought Jerry's shatterpoint would be. Nerd side note: they're referring to Mace Windu's speciality, which is the ability to pinpoint shatterpoints - the point at which a person or event breaks. He said that Mike (who draws the comics) would probably think that Jerry would be sensitive about the idea that he's simply riding on the coattails of Mike's success. Jerry laughed at the idea, because if it were true, it would mean that Mike is the stupid one, since he could be making twice the amount of money for the work that he does, and Jerry would have a pretty sweet life.

He also mentioned how he often gets asked whether PAX Aus would continue. It's question that came up in the Enforcer Q&A with Robert Khoo after the second PAX. He said that people kept coming up to him and asking whether PAX Aus would continue. He responded that when PAX set up somewhere, it was there to stay. I guess in Australia, we're used to having games say they'll set up Australian servers, and then when they're less popular, take them away so we always live with the fear that this awesome thing we have will be taken away someday.

I also filmed Jerry miming his favourite poem: https://youtu.be/DMpVWD_21bk (sorry for the shaky video)

I think he said it was called Feelings First, and the closest thing I could find was this poem by E.E Cummings: Since Feeling is First, which doesn't quite match up with what he mimed.

The final comic looked incredible. Sorry for my potato phone quality photo, but I'm sure the real comic will be up on their site eventually.

We saw some cool Dota 2 cosplayers, including someone cosplaying KotL! :D

(from left: Axe, KotL, Dazzle, Death Prophet)

The line for the FFXIV T-shirt was longer than I expected. To win a T-shirt, you join a raid group of 8 people and have to defeat an event boss. Saturday's boss was Lakshmi. The line was pretty long... I was in queue for 2 hours before I got to play. As I approached the front of the queue, there was someone asking whether people had played before, and which role they would like to play. Finding a tank was hard, so the guy had to keep going down the queue until he found a tank, who was brought to the front.

The boss fight was pretty cool, though our black mage walked off the edge of the platform and died at the start for some reason, so we didn't have the best start. But the rest of the fight was pretty easy - especially as our entire party had experienced players (it was open to new players, too, and they had some people to help you play). I died at the end to meteor, but the boss was on less than 5% HP by then, so it was an easy win.

Once you're done, you get a token which lets you collect a T-shirt.

We checked out the indie showcase, and I noted a few games that I want to try. I also set myself a new task: I was going to practice the moustache compliment skill!

After that, it was time to find a board game for Jal. I needed something that could be played during our lunch break, and his requirements were a game where you can screw other people over, and ideally involves combat. It was tougher than I thought, but in the end, I settled on Small World.

I also tried out a new game to help practice my Dota 2 carry skills.

The last panel the indie showcase panel, and it's amazing how many cool games are being developed right here in Australia (a couple were from NZ). There was this interesting shadow puppet game, where you control a light source and can use it to create platforms to get through the levels. But honestly, who am I kidding? I'm probably just going to go back to Dota 2. Oh, but there is an expansion for Orwell coming out, so that's pretty exciting.

As for the moustache compliments, we saw a guy cosplaying Bob from Bob's Burgers, and he had a cool moustache. I was going to compliment him, but he was walking away, so I started following him. But he had a friend with him, so I didn't get the chance to compliment him on his own, so redbeanpork told me that wasn't the right time to practice. While we were looking at board games, there was another guy with a cool moustache, and a girl walked up to him and complimented it. Just like that. I wanted to try it, too. but it would be too weird doing it immediately after someone else had just done it. We passed Bob again, and I was working up the courage to approach him when another girl showed up. It looked like she was his girlfriend, so it was a good thing that I chickened out. Time was running out, and as we were walking to the last panel, I saw a guy on his own with a moustache. It wasn't as great as all the others, but it was still pretty nice. I walked up to him. I didn't even have time to get worried, because we had a panel to get to, and I was running out of time to achieve my goal.

Me: Hi, I just wanted to say that I think you have a nice moustache.
Him: Thank you very much.
Me: You're welcome.
*runs away*

I did it!

It's weird, even though I didn't have an enforcing shift, the day felt really short. I think one day was enough for me though. That being said, the hoodies sold out really quickly, which redbeanpork was sad about. If we were going to go again, maybe we'll do Friday instead, so we have the weekend to recover.

I'm also losing my voice. Probably from all the shouting in the expo hall.

Almost redbeanpork Ice-Cream (Caramel Espresso)

Ingredients

Espresso gelato
400g water
250g espresso
225g sugar
60g dextrose
60g maltodextrin
5g stabaliser (of xanthan gum is what I used but I would recommend less, maybe 2.5g)

Caramel
100g sugar
165ml coconut milk
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract / paste

(If you want to do it properly, I stole the sorbet recipe from Nick Palumbo (of Gelato Messina fame) :https://www.cooked.com.au/Nick-Palumbo/Hardie-Grant-Books/Gelato-Messina/Sorbets/Espresso-sorbet-recipe?redirau=1, and the caramel is adapted from: https://jessicainthekitchen.com/vegan-caramel-sauce/)

Method
1. Combine the water and  espresso over low heat.

2. Mix all the powders together in a bowl so they're evenly mixed.

3. Add the powders to the coffee mix, and whisk to mix. Heat over medium heat until all the powders have dissolved. Do not allow to boil!

4. Put in the fridge to cool overnight.

5. To make the caramel, heat the sugar over low heat, until it starts to turn into a syrup. Very slowly add the coconut milk. This is important, because the temp difference of the milk will cause it to bubble up. And it'll also separate. Don't stir this with a spoon, just swirl the mixture in the pan to move it, but try to let it caramelise without moving it too much. Turn the heat to medium, and allow it to bubble and reduce until it becomes syrupy and smooth. Remove from heat and add the vanilla and salt. Swirl around to mix and then transfer to another container and leave in the fridge for at least 2 hours to cool.

6. Make the espresso sorbet according to your ice-cream maker's instructions. You can either drizzle the caramel in towards the end, or after it's done, mix in the caramel in the ice-cream container. Freeze overnight.

7. Scoop out and enjoy!

I was surprised how creamy the ice-cream was, but too much xanthan gum made it far too gummy.

This is how it started in the ice-cream machine.

It turned from that dark brown colour to this pale brown after churning.

The final frozen product:

The flavour was named after redbeanpork, as he said caramel espresso is his flavour. The coffee flavour wasn't really strong enough, so I might try a doubly concentrated brew next time. The caramel was nicely soft and delicious.

The caramel itself was a journey of experimentation. There were 4 failed attempts before this one. I discovered that caramel should not be poured down the drain, so I had my own caramel box going (which is reminiscent of something from reddit's dark history). Some tips I picked up along the way:

• avoid stirring as much as possible. Stirring can cause crystalisation against the spoon, and can cause sugar to get stuck to the side of the pan. This results in the sugar burning faster than the caramel, and when he gets mixed in later, it ends up adding a bitter burnt flavour, which is what ruined my first two attempts.
• the temp difference of the milk and the heated sugar mix will cause it to bubble up like crazy and overflow over the pan. This also leaves caramel on the side of the pan, and you'll get that burnt side-effect as mentioned in the tip above.

It didn't quite work out, and isn't yet worthy of redbeanpork's name, so he said I can name this one after MrFodder until I get it right.