Tuesday 31 March 2015

Blame-Free Culture

Today I managed to completely fill up our dev server to the point where you couldn't run rm -f because it didn't have enough memory. I couldn't even do an ls -l to see which was the offending file. As a side note, I found out this happens (on a Solaris box) when you fill up the /tmp directory because you don't have enough memory to call non-native commands. The solution is to do > filename which copies nothing into the file (if you happen to know which file is the offending massive file), reducing its size to zero. Hopefully that'll free up enough memory to allow you to start deleting things. I just kept "zero-ing" files until I had enough space to list the directory contents.

I didn't know why the /tmp drive was suddenly full, as all I did in the morning was kick off a build for a project I had been working on, something I had done without issue hundreds of times. It turns out that there was an issue with the deploy script we were using (it had been changed somehow), and there was a typo in it, causing it to copy every version of our build, rather than the specified version.

I told Intern Daniel about it, as he happened to walk by my desk while I was panicking about killing the dev server and he was making fun of me for breaking things. Usually it's me who is making fun of him for breaking things.
Me: I worked out what the problem was. There was a typo in the deploy script.
Intern Daniel: lol, so who did it?
Me: I don't know, can't be bothered looking through source control to see who checked it in.
Intern Daniel: You got your certification, and now you're so lazy!
Me: No, I'm not being lazy! It doesn't matter who broke it, because it's fixed now.
Quick note for non-programmers: Programmers tend to use source control to keep track of changes to the code base. This allows you to revert back to an older change in case some new code breaks everything, and also allows multiple developers to work on a single project without having to do crazy things like email each other file changes whenever someone changes things just to keep track of all the changes. Checking-in your code is when you decide to push your changes up to the "master copy" so that other people can pull them down and incorporate the changes. It's generally considered bad etiquette to push up broken code, as other people will pull it down and think that they have broken the code when it was actually you. If you do check in broken code, it is your responsibility to fix it.

When I first started in this team I was really nervous about breaking anything. It took me so long to build up the courage to check in my first change because I was afraid the entire project would come tumbling down and the bank would explode. (If you're wondering whether I checked in any code in my last team, yes, but I had my own branch which nobody pulled from, and nobody looked at until my last week in the team, so it wasn't like my work was going to interfere with anybody else's.) Obviously, that meant that anything I did took a lot longer than it should have, because I was too afraid to try anything out. On one hand, it meant that every single thing I checked in had 100% code coverage, and I had run every single test I could think of against it. On the other hand, it really shouldn't take me a month to make a small config change. At least, from the point of view of my team, I was considered a "free" resource at that time, as the team wasn't paying for me, the graduate program was.

Eventually, I did screw up, and I broke something. I didn't even know that thing existed, but one of the other developers pulled me aside and said, "Hey, that change you made caused X to break, do you mind taking a look at it?" I said I'd take a look, but inside, I just wanted to melt into a puddle. It didn't take me long to fix it, and so I quickly checked in my fix. Phew, coast is clear, back to super cautious mode. But now that my broken code cherry had been popped, I was starting to realise that other people occasionally made mistakes, too. I'd often hear, "Oh, shit, I just accidentally deleted the deploy job, sorry guys, I'll fix it soon" or "Oops, I just ran the script to stop X application, it'll be back up in 5 minutes." And you know what? People just laughed it off, joked about the bank exploding, but nobody got up and yelled, "Oh, My. Fucking. God. You are so useless, I can't believe you are still working here." Nobody got mad. Half the time, nobody even looked up except to say, "That's fine, I wasn't using X anyway, take your time."

One time someone said, "Oh, John has broken the build again." and the lead developer replied, "Hey, it's a blame-free culture here" but in a really sarcastic way, like how people would say, "We're a synergistic team who kicks goals and we're seamlessly moving forward to the cloud." Despite his sarcasm, I do think that our team is very blame-free. If someone does break something, someone else might give them a heads up, but not because they're trying to say, "You moron, look what you did", but because they know the person who broke it will likely be in the best position to fix it.

It's really comforting to me, and once I realised that nobody was going to kick me out of the building because I broke a build, my velocity increased quite a lot. Before, I found myself constantly checking with the other developers, "Is it OK if I do X?" or "I'm not sure how I can go about solving Y". One of the top developers on the team would often ask me, "What have you tried so far?" and I would say that I haven't tried anything yet, but I have thought of A, B, C solutions. Then he would suggest that I'd try them and I'd do it.

Now, I just jump straight in. I've broken things, I've deleted things I shouldn't have. I created a job that ran over and over again for 4 hours, and a particular build of ours has over 200 tags (when it should only have 1) because my auto-tagging job kept running. I've made mistakes, and it's OK, because in making them, I am learning. As long as I don't leave a crazy backlog of things that need to be fixed, and I am not inconveniencing others too badly, of course. I know some people don't like the idea, as it means people don't need to be as accountable for their mistakes, but if you have a mature team like the one I am currently in, I think it works really well.

Should I be fixing other people's broken unit tests? That's a whole other story that isn't going to fit in this blog post.

Monday 30 March 2015

Oh, Canada

About a year ago, I went to a LAN gaming meetup. There, I met Jane. We played Starcraft 2 and Dota together, and I found out that she is a huge fan of Final Fantasy XIV. She was here in Australia from Canada for some sort of overseas teaching peogram where she gets to work as a substitute teacher.

The thing that struck me the most was how similar we are. I know I've said this so many times and it sounds like I'm on some sort of grand quest to meet my personality double. I guess meeting people who are like me makes me feel like it's OK to be like me, because there are others out there doing it, too. Anyway, as I've already mentioned, she's a gamer, and quite a serious one at that. She said she was one of the top DPS in her free company (guild). That's one aspect we differ on, she loves DPS and hates healing, I'm the opposite. She feels just as confused by fashion as I do. She loves eating. Her relationship with her boyfriend sounds a lot like me and MrMan5.5.

We had a plan to both update our wardrobes together, to try and get a less WTF-am-I-doing look. However, that was kinda limited by her disposable income, or rather, the lack of. Unfortunately, she had long periods where she didn't get much work, so it was down to instant noodles for her. I felt bad, and I tried to take her out to eat, but she doesn't really like to be a charity case.

It's actually pretty funny to see us together. She's from one of the colder cities in Canada. She said that days that would normally be considered snow days in other cities are just regular days in her home town. So when we are together, I'm usually rugged up in a winter coat and scarf. She's in a T-shirt and thongs. She laughs at our Australian "Winter". On the flip side, I tried to warn her about our Summers and she said it couldn't be that bad. Luckily we only had a couple of 40+ days this year, but she was pretty much incapacitated. Though so was I as unfortunately I don't have heat resistance super powers.

She's younger than me, and I feel like she is where I was 5 years ago, except she's a lot more cultured than me, as she has also studied abroad in Japan.

Yesterday, I met up with her for lunch to say goodbye, as she is leaving Australia on Wednesday. I feel sad to see her go, but we'll still be able to keep in touch via Facebook. And who knows, maybe we'll see each other again when the expansion for FFXIV launches. By see each other, I mean in-game, of course.

Sunday 29 March 2015

Bridezilla Tales

I think my behaviour in the lead-up to the wedding has been not too bad. I've been stalking various subreddits to read about bridezillas because I don't want to be one of them. However, with the lack of anything meaningful to post today, I will share some of my favourites:

This one is my absolute favourite. I'm glad I never got to this level of delusion.

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/28t2e2/my_23f_friend_22f_just_asked_me_to_play_the/

Someone (I'll call her Alison) has a classmate (Barbara). Barbara is getting married and asked Alison to be part of her wedding. Alison is OK with being a bridesmaid, however, that's not what Barbara has in mind. See, Barbara had a dream that Alison was playing the violin at her wedding. She woke up crying and wrote down the idea, which she now informs Alison about. Not only that, but she has already gone and bought a $2000 violin! The only issue is the fact that Alison doesn't play the violin. That story had a sad ending (the update is a different post), turns out Barbara was diagnosed with manic-depressive bipolar, so maybe that shouldn't count as a bridezilla story. :(

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/22lt2o/what_are_your_my_friend_is_a_bridezilla_horror/cgo43fp

Bride has a massive dress that requires three people to hold it up while she pees. After she is done peeing, she orders one of her bridesmaids to wipe her. Bridesmaid declines. Oh, god, I hope I can pee while I'm in my dress. I never tested it out! Worst case, I'll take it off while in the stall. Or bring a bottle....

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2j8ym0/what_is_the_craziest_bridezilla_story_you_have/cl9odh2

Had weekly 3-hour meetings with all six of her bridesmaids to prepare for the wedding. Also, in response to having her maid of honour spend hours cooking for her 1-year anniversary party, she comments, "That's what the 'maid' in 'maid of honour' is for".

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1x7cfa/bakers_florists_anyone_working_in_a/cf92yt0

Not entirely bridezilla, but pretty weird. Bride's family tries to financially blackmail the groom into paying for a wedding when he doesn't even want to get married. They try to get him to sign a contract saying that he'll pay for the wedding even if he decides not to go through with it. He doesn't. Wedding day rolls around and he admits to the catering staff that he really doesn't want to marry this woman. They convince him to run for the hills. Bride and her family get pissed off, but since the venue, food, and DJ have already been paid for, they decide to stay and "party".

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1x7cfa/bakers_florists_anyone_working_in_a/cf97iei

Set in the days of film cameras, where you have rolls of film that need to be developed later before you can see the photos. Bride demands to see the photos that have been taken so far. The photographer explains that they need to be developed first, so she can't see the right now. She ends up breaking into his bag and opening up rolls of film trying to look at the photos. Of course, this ruins the film, and so the photos can't be developed anymore. Bride gets mad that the photos have been damaged. Then she comes over to the photographer with a couple of glasses of wine. She drinks from one glass, and pours the other one on him, ruining his camera. The next day, her father says that they refuse to pay for the ruined photos, as they're not going to get them. And they also refused to pay to replace the camera. Luckily, the photographers said that if they don't pay, they won't get any of the photos, so they ended up paying for everything (the photographer added some secret costs to cover the camera replacement).

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/y9dex/im_a_bridesmaid_in_an_upcoming_wedding_without/c5tnmr6

Short and sad. Bridesmaid has been trying to get pregnant for a while. She and her husband finally manage it. Bride kicks her out of the wedding party because she'll look pregnant in the pictures. Former-bridesmaid ends up miscarrying. Bride's response, "Good, well, now you can be back in the wedding." Former-bridesmaid declines.


Saturday 28 March 2015

Don't Wanna Be Famous

I had lunch with Uni Paul, and I said to him that I don't think I can ever be famous, because I've done and said too many stupid things that it'll come back to haunt me. He said that my comment reminded him that episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver where he discusses the lottery (YouTube link). Oh, wait, it wasn't that one, I don't know, Uni Paul said there was an episode of something where they talk about what you should do if you win the lottery, e.g. set up a trust, whether you should take the lump sum or get paid an annuity, but the thing is that your chances of winning the lottery are so small that if you put all that money you were going to spend on the lottery into a bank account instead, you'd end up ahead.

Well, OK, so my chances of being famous are smaller than my chances of winning the lottery, I'll accept that. And that's 100% OK for me, because being famous sounds scary. I'm not even talking about A-list celebrity famous, but even niche-famous people like Reddit's Unidan. He became incredibly popular on Reddit for answering questions on various biology topics, but then it turns out that he was using alternate accounts to upvote his own answers. Now he seems to be the butt of a heap of jokes.

The biggest thing that worries me is that people can turn on you so easily, and by being famous, everything you do is broadcast to a wider audience. I can't remember which celebrity it was who did an IAmA, but someone asked them a fairly innocuous question, like which do you like better, chocolate or vanilla? Their response was that they didn't want to answer that question and risk alienating half of their fans. I feel like that's such a sad way to live life. After high school, a lot of us will move on from the stage of life where you have to pretend to like or dislike things because that's what's "cool", but as a celebrity, I feel like you always have to be on the ball for what the public trend is at the moment. Zach Braff was loved by Reddit, but then he posted a tweet where he linked to something on 9GAG (which is the enemy of Reddit as apparently they take things from Reddit and other places, add their own watermark, and post it on a site with lots of ads) and he got so much crap over it. I recall there being many, many memes along the lines of, "You were supposed to be the one." Zach Braff is still loved, though it seems he's not that active on Reddit anymore (at the time of writing, his last post was 2 months ago).

Then you have things like what happened to Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, where their meltdowns were made quite public. I've said and done some stupid things in the moment, but usually there's an apology afterwards, and it's forgotten quite soon. Imagine people constantly bringing up mistakes you've made years after you've made them - even if you're a different person now. Although I guess that depends on how much you've learned your lesson. If you are constantly making the same mistakes over and over again, then perhaps someone needs to sit you down and remind you of all the things you've done. But if it was a one-time thing, then I don't think I could handle constantly having to justify myself for having done it, or explain that the people who were wronged have forgiven me, so why won't everyone else?

It's times like these that I'm glad I am in my little corner of the world. I don't know why I'm trying to mitigate potential fame-related disaster by limiting the amount of stupid things I say, because as Uni Paul put it, it's so unlikely to happen, but I guess it's good practice for going into a more senior role anyway, as I feel like sometimes my casual nature can be a bit unprofessional at times.

Friday 27 March 2015

Trusty Neighbour

My mum wants to borrow my cousin's car seat for driving her nephew around in the lead up to the wedding. She asked me to pick it up from my cousin's house, however, my cousin wasn't going to be home that day, and told my mum that she had left the car seat at the front of their house. I've never been there before, but it was only about 10 minutes away from my house, so it was an easy drive.

As I was walking up the driveway to my cousin's house, I noticed a few of the neighbours standing on the footpath looking my way. Since I had never been there before, I figured they were wondering who I was (sidenote: I've kinda wanted to live in a Desperate Housewives style neighbourhood for a while now, but it's probably nothing like they make it seem in the TV show). I grabbed the car seat from the porch, and as I started walking back to where I had parked my car, I was wondering if any of them thought I might be an opportunistic thief who saw the car seat there and decided to take it.

What would I do if one of them had challenged me to prove I was related to my cousin? I didn't have my cousin's phone number, so that wasn't a solution. I thought maybe I could just say a bunch of things that only someone who knew my cousin would know, e.g. her date of birth, the names of her kids, her maiden name, etc.

However, it occurred to me that maybe they were also being opportunistic identity thieves. How did I know they were actually neighbours and not just people who happened to be standing there at that time?

In this case, we have a problem of establishing mutual trust. I wasn't just going to spout out random information about my cousin without them proving that they were neighbours of her somehow. They weren't going to trust me to just take the car seat without proving that I was related to my cousin somehow. Was there another method we could use to establish some sort of trust?

As a neighbour, I did not expect them to know the same kind of details that I would know, like her hobbies when she was a child, or where her parents live. Similarly, as a cousin who doesn't visit, I wouldn't expect myself to know the same kind of things they would know, like where their kids go to school, or even what colour their car is. The kind of stuff we would probably share, kids' names, birthday are also common things that come up when you are asked to prove your identity (as lame as it sounds, a lot of parents in the office see to have their kids' names as their phone passwords (I hope it's not phone banking) - which is terrible as it's not something that's very hard to learn).

In the short 20 second walk to my car, I couldn't think of any solution other than to log in to Facebook on my phone and show that I'm friends with my cousin and that we have exchanged messages before. Wouldn't entirely help if they didn't even know who lived in that house, but I think at that point, it's a double bluff.

Assuming I did not know my cousin and just pulled up a random profile, if they were legit neighbours, I'd get called out. If they were fake neighbours, they'd just have to play along, as they want to keep up the ruse of being friendly neighbours.

Assuming I did know my cousin, and pulled up her profile, legit neighbours would recognise it, and fake neighbours would have to play along.

So, three out of four cases are in my favour.

I don't know of a good solution - does anyone else have a suggestion?

Thursday 26 March 2015

Netflix

Netflix's release in Australia seems to have caused quite a stir.

Two of my co-workers have signed up for it already. You can trial it for one month for free, take a look on their website https://www.netflix.com/au/ (note: the Australia Netflix does not have as wide a selection as the US one). There are three different tiers of pricing at the moment: $8.99 for standard definition and one device at a time, $10.99 for high-def and up to two devices at a time, and $14.99 for ultra-high-def (4K) and up to four devices at a time. Considering the price of a movie ticket these days is close to $20 (for an adult without any kind of discount), I think the pricing is really good. Plus, if you don't care about experiencing things when they're super dooper new, then what difference does it make waiting for stuff to come out on Netflix? Well, you probably don't want to know that SKD, but oh well.

One of my co-workers doesn't pay for TV shows, and only pays to see movies at the cinema, but that's because he's happy to wait for it to air on free-to-air TV (or watch it iView). He's not particular for-or-against piracy (though he absolutely loves Talk Like a Pirate Day), he just prefers to do other things, like play computer games, or work out at the gym. Plus, he is single, with no children, has a very high income, and has quite a long commute, so his rent is very low. However, he prefers to spend his money on things like travelling overseas. He was completely happy to sign up for Netflix simply because he'll be able to watch TV shows a season at a time, with no ads.

My other co-worker probably has a tricorne hat at home, and likely has a case of scurvy. He believes that Australians are getting completely ripped off. He also hates that we get everything so far behind everyone else. However, he was completely happy to pay for Netflix, and I think he even went for the most expensive tier. I was surprised by this, to be honest. I thought that he would think that Netflix is overpriced compared to free. I guess there really are some people out there who pirate things not because they can get it for free, but for the principle of it.

MrMan5.5 and I are going to sign up, though probably after the wedding, as we don't have that much time to be sitting around watching things at the moment.

It's interesting, because Australia already has some video streaming services: Stan, Presto, AnimeLab (currently free while in beta, but it has been in beta for a long time now!), yet they don't seem to have created the same buzz as Netflix. I can't really speak of how wide their libraries are, but from what I've read so far, Netflix has by far the widest selection. It's a pity that it won't include Game of Thrones though. MrMan5.5 says that we should support Netflix coming out in Australia because we want to incentivize them to put more effort into bringing shows out here (I know that the reason why some of the shows can't be aired here is due to clashes with local licensing). I do like the fact that the rest of the world is starting to realise that yes, there are people on this crazy island inhabited by lots of poisonous animals. Looking forward to beginning our trial!

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Today I learned that OzBargain keeps a list of free stuff you can get on your birthday!

Wednesday 25 March 2015

Musings of a Friend

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about whether you can ever have a "true friend". Similar to whether you can ever perform an altruistic act, a true friend is someone that you choose to becomes friends with, and whom you have no ulterior motive for being with. Even if you are friends with someone who seems to be nothing but a leech, I guess you are getting some company out of it. Perhaps you even enjoy it to some extent, otherwise you wouldn't stay friends with them.

But what about that guy who is my mum's sister's piano teacher's son who my parents insist that I must stay friends with, you might ask. Well, you may not be getting anything from the friendship itself, but you are getting something from the fact that you are doing something for your family. They may not appreciate it, but it is ammunition you can bring to the table when you are trying to weasel out of something else. Depending on your family though, I guess.

I took a look through my friends list (if there's one thing that Facebook is good for, it's reminding me that of all those "friends" that I have that I can't quite remember off the top of my head), and a lot of the friends that I have I'm friends with for one reason or another. A large percentage of them are gaming friends (both video and board games), and I stay friends with them because I enjoy playing games with them. I hope that the feeling is mutual. Then there's my philosophising friends that I enjoy arguing with (hello GP who isn't on Facebook, I honestly don't know how I manage to remember you, it must be your charming personality). People from work, who I guess I friended to seem like a team player - although I actually like all of them. Family.... I don't think that counts, don't really have a choice there.

I have a reason to be friends with all of them, so I don't think I have any "true friends". Though perhaps that's not really something to aspire to. The best friendships are the ones where you both help each other out. When I think about the friendship I have with someone at work, we began as casual acquaintances. We talked to each other because we happened to start working there at the same time, but it was a lot of small talk, just passing the time kind of thing. I think the biggest turning point of our friendship was when he told me that he might not have a job once our secondment in that area was over. It was the first time I was able to help him in a meaningful way, by being someone to support him as he dealt with that realisation. Then there was all the support he provided me for my long weight-loss journey. We have a deep and meaningful relationship because of the fact that we do help each other out.

It also fascinates me how I can still be so close to a lot of my gaming friends despite the fact that we almost never see or speak to each other, but whenever we do meet up again, everything just picks up like there wasn't a gap at all. Is that what it means to have a "true friend"? Someone that you enjoy the company of, but doesn't require hours and hours of friendship tending? I do love the fact that a lot of my gaming friends are low-maintenance, but I also sometimes wonder if perhaps I am missing out on something, as some of these friendships don't seem as deep as some of my other friendships. Sure, we can spend hours together playing X, but with some of them, when we hang out offline, we don't have all that much to say.

Watching Castle, and it seems like a lot of characters seem to have a best friend who is such a good friend that they're often willing to cover up murders, affairs, and all kinds of illicit activities. It's probably just a plot device, as I don't know how many adults have that kind of BFF relationship with another person. I am leaning a little towards that being a true friend, but again, it's hardly a "pure" relationship, as you have someone who is willing to commit crimes with you! Also, you'd think that a true best friend would keep you out of that kind of situation to begin with.

I really do like the idea of a "true friend" though, as sometimes I do feel like there are people out there who just use me. Most of the time, I don't mind. It's probably a callous way to look at it, but I don't mind doing favours for friends if I feel like our overall friendship has been worth it to me. It just really hurts me when someone tries to make something out to be beneficial to me, only for it to turn out that they were just manipulating me for their own purposes.

In summary, I still remain unconvinced that you can ever have a "true friend", but the soft-hearted person in me is still waiting to meet that person, should someone out there wish to prove me wrong.

Tuesday 24 March 2015

Homemade Companion Cube Wishing Well

I posted about making a custom Companion Cube for our wishing well. Well, we finally got it done (except there are pink lines that I realised we forgot - oh well)!



I spent a lot of time looking around for a cube shaped box to save us the effort of making it ourselves out of cardboard, because I don't trust my ability to cut 6 perfect squares, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have managed to stand up on its own if I made it. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to find a cube shaped box. I tried Myer and David Jones, all the craft stores I know of, the post office, Daiso, The Reject shop, Kikki K, basically anywhere I could think of that sold gift boxes, or parcel boxes. There were a lot of rectangular ones though! We happened to pass an Ikea as we were visiting our celebrant, and I thought, why not give it a shot? We managed to find an almost cube, it's 32 x 35 x 32cm, but that's close enough for me.

The materials




  • Tjena box (from Ikea) - we would have preferred a white one, but this, or darker coloured ones were all we found
  • White paint
  • Black paint
  • Magenta paint (or red, doesn't matter, it's used to make the pink paint for the heart)
  • Paint brushes (we had a wide one for the white coat of paint, and a thinner one for the actual colours
  • Pencil (not in the photo)
  • Scissors (or stanley knife)
  • Palette (for the paint, but you can use plastic cups or containers or whatever)
  • Cardboard (didn't end up needing it, because the box came with cardboard)
  • Clothes that you don't care about getting paint on
  • Newspaper or something to put on the ground, so you don't end up painting your house
  • A large round thing to trace around (optional - not needed if you can draw a circle freehand)
  • A smaller round thing to trace around (optional - not needed if you can draw a circle freehand)
  • A heart shaped thing to trace around (optional - not needed if you can draw a heart freehand)


Instructions

Assemble the box.


Coat with white paint (doesn't have to be perfect, but you want a decent layer so the green doesn't show through) - make sure to do this in a well ventilated area!



Draw a large circle on your cardboard (I used a dinner plate). This will be your stencil later. Cut the circle out.


Draw a smaller circle inside the circle you cut out (I dun goofed this part, and should have drawn the smaller circle first, but I drew and cut out the heart first).

 

Might be a bit hard to see with this image, but you want to use your stencils to outline the parts of the box with pencil. Large circle, then small circle inside that, then the heart inside that.


It should look something like this:

Using the cardboard, make some squares on the corner that overlap the larger circle (don't draw into the circle though, draw your line up to the circle). Trace with pencil. Make sure the lines line up on each of the sides. Use existing lines to line up where to place the cardboard.



Using the cardboard again as a ruler (or a real ruler if you have one), draw another line in parallel from the ones you just drew.


In the end, you want something like this:


Mix a bit of the black paint into some of the white paint to make the light grey paint. Paint the sections as in this image:


It's not perfect, but given our artistic ability, I'm happy with how it turned out! How are the guests going to get their gifts inside? Well, I guess they'll just have to think with portals.

Monday 23 March 2015

People I am Grateful For - W, X, Y

I am grateful for you because in some ways, you were by best friend for a long time. When it was just me and you, we had to do everything together. We worked together to finish all kinds of video games, we made up our own fantasy games to play. I've always wondered if you ever felt sad that you were kinda living in my shadow, since you have the over achieving big sister, but it seems you've managed to surpass anything I've ever been able to do, so I'm glad you managed to find your own thing.

I am grateful that because of you, I always had a player 2. Even though I was bossy, and a sore loser, you still played with me. I'm grateful that despite what happened a long time ago, we ended up speaking to each other again. Even though we still don't talk all that often, I am glad that we can talk if we need to.

Playing with you made me strive to be better, so maybe it was me who was jealous of you and your natural gaming ability. I'm actually really ashamed of this, but whenever I worked out how to do something special in a game, I always kept it a secret. The various shortcuts in Mario Kart 64, how to do certain moves in fighting games, the location of body armour in Goldeneye (though you figured all of those out eventually), the list is so long. Although I guess with the Internet, none of that really matters anymore, since you can look anything up.

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This is also another pitiful one, because I think I probably win the award for worst sister ever. I'm grateful that after that night in the kitchen that everything managed to work out.

I'm grateful that you managed to find yourself as well.

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I'm grateful that you managed to hold the family together. Despite the horrible bullying we put you through, you always stayed cheerful. I'm grateful that you turned into a geek,

I remember when I found out about something you said in one of your therapy sessions - that you like being with me when I'm happy. When I'm not happy, you said you were scared of me. It's a pretty confronting thing to hear.

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I think this post should be more of an apology than things I'm grateful for. I'm sorry for being so caught up in myself and my own self-importance to be the big sister I should have been. Sometimes, it's not about being right or wrong, but about doing what needs to be done. W, I shouldn't have treated everything like a competition. Imagine how much more we could have done if we had worked together instead. X, instead of being so focused on myself, I should have realised that I had someone who looked up to me, and needed my help. You weren't an annoying brat that I had to put up with, you are a person, a real person, and I'm glad we didn't lose you. Y, you were bullied like crazy, and all you wanted was to be able to play with us. We treated you so horribly. Yet still, you somehow manage to act like a ray of sunshine with your deadpan humour. I don't know how you did it, but I have a great amount of respect for you, and I hope that you find it in yourself to forgive me for how I treated you as a kid someday.

Sunday 22 March 2015

People I am Grateful For - U, V

Nearly there, just a few more to go!

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I guess for starters, I should probably thank you for giving birth to me, as without you, I wouldn't even be here today, literally. I know it's been a tough journey, it can't have been easy to raise me, and I know that you did everything you could to give me a good childhood, even though I was a bit spoiled, being the eldest child. I'm sorry for disappointing you by refusing to learn Chinese. I know it must have hurt you a lot that I turned my back on my heritage.

I am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to learn. You used to walk me to the library at least once a week, and wait around with me for hours as I read and browsed books. I know we didn't have much money growing up, but you always found a way to entertain us despite that fact. You took us too all of those free shows that are put on by the various councils around the city - even though we complained once we started getting too old to go to those things, it was still very nice of you to do it.

You never wanted us to be sedentary children. Tennis lessons, karate lessons, swimming lessons, girl guide meetings, piano lessons. If there was a driving equivalent of frequent flyer miles, I'm sure you'd be platinum class now, as there was so much driving to take us to all the different things that we had to do. And you did it all on your own.

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You also had a hand in my existence, of which I am incredibly grateful. You are also the reason that I am a gamer, as you loved playing games. The day you brought home our first NES is still a very fond memory in my mind. We played duck hunt for so many hours, though it shames me to say that I still haven't finished Mario Bros (I think we only made it to world 5, as I looked up some pictures of world 6, and they don't look familiar at all).

For a long time, you were the only source of income for our family. You would leave for work at 4am, and return just before dinner. It makes me sad to think that I was scared of you for such a long time. Mum would never hit us, but if we misbehaved, she would threaten to tell you, and you would hit us with your belt when you got home. So there were many nights where I, or one of my siblings, had done something wrong, and so we'd all fear you coming home in the evening. I'm glad things between us have gotten a lot better since then.

Whenever I see people talking about having female role models for getting girls into IT, I think back to my own childhood, and I never had any, I just had you. You always shared your hobbies, like gaming, making model planes, tinkering with electronics, and it never mattered to you that I was a girl. You just thought it was something interesting, and you wanted to share. You never pushed me to play with dolls, even though all the other girls were doing it, but you bought me so many books on dinosaurs, and how things work.


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How do you sum up the contribution your parents have made to your life in a single blog post? I could probably sit here all day reminiscing. I can understand that it was difficult for them, as I recall believing that I'm so much smarter than them, and that they should be listening to me. And it might be true, when it comes to book-smarts, I'm probably miles ahead of them, as I had the good fortune of being able to attend university, but that doesn't mean that they don't know anything. Both of my parents have good hearts, and they did what they could given the circumstances. That's why I would really like to buy them a house, so that they can finally rest.

Saturday 21 March 2015

Wedding Photo Book Arrived

Unrelated to today's topic, but yesterday, someone at work challenged me to a push-up challenge. It's actually really nice, as I've lost a lot of motivation to work out after the last beep test. I had no goal other than wanting to maintain my current weight, so I was just going to the gym and doing whatever I felt like. If I saw someone using a machine that I thought looked fun, I'd ask one of the instructors how to use it and give it a shot (P.S. the rowing machine isn't nearly as easy as it looks). Now I have some direction! I'm not entirely sure what the challenge involves yet, but I'm going to train for it!

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The photo book for the wedding arrived. I said I'd post some pictures, so I will do it now (they're not as blurry in real life - I've just blurred some of the faces out. Or maybe I got the same person who retouched this painting. Yeah... I'll go with that.











It ended up being 60 pages long, which was quite difficult to fill. I think it took me about 20 hours, all up. So I'm all photobook'd out at the moment. Which is wonderful, because after our wedding, we get to sit with our lovely photographers and make another two photobooks! At least the photos will be a lot nicer, as they'll have been taken by a professional.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but the idea of the book was to have it as the guest book that people sign at the wedding. Initially, I wanted to model it off Carl and Ellie's adventure book from the movie Up, but in the end, it didn't really fit, as they were photos of things we'd already done, rather than stuff we wanted to do. I'm really sad that I forgot to put in a photo of Derek Zoolander in there though, as that movie was the movie that brought us together. Although I'm a bit worried that people won't want to draw over the pictures. So maybe I'll have to pretend to sign some names so that the guests will catch on.

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. The book is pretty big, 12" x 12" (30cm x 30cm), which is why I couldn't hold it up to take photos. Again, the 123Cheese software kept telling me that all of my photos were too low resolution to use in the book, but all of them look fine to me. However, I also can't tell the difference between DVD and Blu Ray, so maybe I am not the best judge. The book took a long time to arrive, and I contacted 123Cheese support, who said they had a huge delay, but that they'd do what they could about getting my order in first. A few days after they emailed me telling me that my order was in production, it arrived in the mail, so the shipping part didn't take very long.

You can also tell about halfway through I really couldn't be bothered anymore. There are a few pages with lots of photos, a nice background, and a bit of a timeline. In the end, I just wanted to get it done so they could ship it in time for the wedding and just slapped together the remaining photos in any order. But shhhh, none of the other guests need to know. I also didn't have many photos, so I added some quotes I found online.

Friday 20 March 2015

People I am Grateful For - Q, R, S, T

In high school, you took me and a few other kids out of art class to attend your "puzzle club". We played trivia games, did brainteasers, and you entered us into a stock market game. I can't say I was all that sad about missing art class, and I really enjoyed myself in the puzzle club. It was in your club that I first discovered how much I love brainteasers, and puzzles in general. Despite how much crap my cousins give me for being bad at jigsaw puzzles, I love them. You made me sit my first IQ test, and the look of pride on your face when you saw my score was the first time I felt like someone was proud of me for being smart, without bragging about it to someone else.

You were the biggest influence on my career choice - telling me that I'd find working in a forensics lab incredibly boring. I know deep down that you were right, I really do, but at the same time, there is a bit of regret. But I am glad you did it, because, and I know this sounds sappy, but I'd never have met MrMan5.5 otherwise. I ended up moving away from hard science into software engineering, but perhaps my direction is still in forensics, just a different focus that's more than just running the same tests day after day after day.

You always pushed me. I wanted to do the "easier" maths and you didn't let me do it. I was always afraid to reach for a lofty goal, because I didn't want to fall short, and you pushed me to do it anyway. You always believed in my potential, and I was very lucky to have had you in my life.

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As stupid as this sounds, I always thought we were going to get married, even though we are cousins, because we were nearly the same age. You introduced me to Warcraft II, and later Starcraft, Knights of the Old Republic, and Beatmania. You lent me a DVD of the first anime I ever watched: Neon Genesis: Evangelion. You did kendo. I wanted nothing more than just to be like you. Admittedly, the only reason I joined the anime club and the kendo club at uni was because of you. However, I lasted two kendo lessons before deciding that swinging a bamboo sword down while yelling, "Men!" isn't really for me (men is Japanese for head, it's not some secret anti-men martial art).

Despite the fact that I didn't really manage to become nearly as awesome as you are, and we never ended up getting married, it is because of you that my life has been enriched by so many new things. Plus, I met a lot of great people along the way, so it's an interesting butterfly effect. You probably never knew that something as little as lending me a DVD could have had such a large impact on my life.

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If I could trade 6 years of university classes for 1 hour with you, I'm sure I'd still come out ahead, knowledge-wise. You made me into the software developer that I am today, and I don't mean that as an insult. You introduced me to the concept of test driven development. Your passion for your work, and your desire to produce quality software has had a big effect on me.

I don't know how many people know about this, but you are the reason that I am in the amazing team that I am in now. When I was due to roll of the grad program, I actually had two job offers, one for my previous team, and one for my current team. In fact, I got the job offer from the previous team before I started in my current team, so I started with the expectation that there was no point settling in, because I was just going to head back to my old team in six months. The first couple of months was just me being polite and trying to work out how I was going to tell my boss that I would be returning to my previous team. Until we had a few new people join the team, and the seating arrangement had to be changed to accommodate them. I was assigned to sit next to you.

Every day at work, I learned something new, and most of it wasn't even able software development! I loved listening to you talk about growing up in South Africa, and dealing with segregation. How despite everything, you've got such an open mind, and are incredibly kind. Your penchant for horrible movies, especially ones featuring sharks always brings a smile to my face. How you manage to find the craziest software development articles from some esoteric corner of the Internet. The thing that made me decide to stay was when I mentioned that I was interested in buying a Kindle, and you said that I could check yours out.and I found Liars and Outliers, by Bruce Schneier in your collection of books. That's when I reaslied that you are what I want to be when I grow up. Plus, my boss said that if I stayed in the team, I'd be tall like you some day. Still waiting on that one.

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Speaking of software quality, how could I go past my favourite quality assurance expert? Again, on the topic of people who are passionate about their work, you always come to mind. You love your work so much that you think about even when out at social events. I'm incredibly grateful that you suggested I go to the Limited WIP meet ups, as I learned so much about the agile methodology from those talks. Even if 80% of it washed over my head, the 20% that I did retain has helped me in my current job.

Despite being so much more experienced than me, you are always happy to explain basic concepts. You have so many interesting stories about agile development that it makes it easy to remember things. If I had half the passion that you have, I'd be set for life.

Thursday 19 March 2015

eVote 1 for Fodder

GP posted a comment saying:

TIL response: e-voting should never, ever, ever become a thing! Complete lack of transparency, ease of abuse, and susceptibility to glitches, all leaving the democratic process in the grubby hands of software developers (no offense) and machines! MACHINES!
Real life example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt27p7XtEDEreddit thread: http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/12q6wu/2012_voting_machine_altering_votes/c6x8sbiSimpsons did it 4 years earlier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoWJkrlptNs

Let me start by saying that paper systems also come with their own problems, like votes going missing like in this case in WA, or missing votes, votes in wrong boxes and potentially multiple votes from a single person like in this case from SA. If you involve humans in the process, then you introduce the potential for human error - maybe the election official had just worked a long day, is getting the same questions over and over about which box to put which form in, and they just reply without thinking, only it was dark now, and the white form looked a little green-ish so he told her to put it in the small box, and pointed to the big box for the other form.

The great thing about computers is they tend to be deterministic: repeated runs of a particular situation should result in the same outcome each time. And before you say, "But what about CD-key generators, I get a new one each time?" the outcome is still the same - you get a CD-key that matches some particular set of criteria. Voter #7 who wants to know which box to put their papers in will be treated exactly the same as Voter #92874 who wants to know which box to put their papers in. I say they tend to, because sometimes it doesn't behave as you'd expect, but that's usually a sign of a bug somewhere in the software, or a hardware failure.

However, saying that there are issues with paper ballots doesn't immediately prove that e-voting is fine. I agree that there is a long way to go before e-voting can be accepted for widespread use. But I see some of the issues GP raised as challenges, rather than reasons not to do it (sounds so kiss-assy when I put it like that though).

Verifiability 
You need to be able verify that what you voted for is what gets stored, and eventually counted.


Note: Our current system does not allow you to do this. Once your paper goes into a box, it goes into some void, and you just have to hope that it gets to its destination in the state that you put it in. However, since we need to get a higher adoption rate for e-voting, this is one of the features that the system should have, just to add peace of mind.

One system that I heard about was to have a PIN assigned to you, and you can call a number which reads out your vote to you. That's not very private though, because you could find out what number your mum was assigned and call up to find out who she voted for.

Another system that I heard about was to have all the candidates ordered randomly, and you get a stub which is a copy of your vote, plus some sort of key which corresponds to your stub. You can log in to a website, type in your key, and look at the stub that was sent. As long as your stub matches the one that was sent, you know your vote was correct. Nobody else knows who you voted for, because only you know which order the candidates were on your sheet. Of course, the system will also need to store the order, but that will be encrypted.


Now there is nothing to say that the system couldn't just pretend to verify your vote. The system could store what you voted for, so that it can display it back to you, and then also secretly store the "real" vote that gets counted.

Privacy
I touched on this a little earlier, but some people believe that voting should be anonymous, and that everyone has a right to cast a vote without having to tell others who they voted for. This is probably more important in countries where corruption is a huge factor, and there may be people pressuring you to vote a particular way, even threatening you if you didn't vote how they wanted. For instance, the mafia might tell you that you have to vote for Fred, and if they are able to sit there and watch you vote to make sure that you do vote for Fred, then it means this system is not private.

Also, if you have some sort of receipt verifying who you voted for, then the mafia can simply wait outside the polling booth and check your receipt to see that you did as you were asked. It's a tricky one to implement (though the second solution described above does manage it), but I think it's important because people need to feel comfortable saying what they want without fear of repercussions. Plus, it makes it less likely that people will try to buy votes, because you can tell someone that you'll vote for Fred if they pay you $200, there's no guarantee that you actually did.

Transparency
This is probably the hardest challenge an e-voting system has. How do you prove that the mechanisms behind the e-voting software actually does what it says it does? How do I know that voting 1 for Mary will result in a 1 vote being counted? To be honest, I don't think this issue has been solved. One of the most popular solutions is to say, "Here's our source code, you can take a look at it if you want to, and if you find any bugs, we'll fix them." Except a large proportion of the population doesn't have the technical skill to be able to work out whether the software is any good or not. You are basically asking them to trust that those who do have the technical prowess have been as thorough as they can.

Not only that, but even if it does get the thumbs up from every single security expert in the world, there is no guarantee that the code that's running on the machines at the venue is the same code that they released for inspection. If you were to detect a difference, what can you do? They could just say, "LOL, you caught me, it's OK, I have the real software on this USB, let me just quickly install it now." You could tell them that you'll compile the software yourself and run it off your machine, and you'll be laughed out of the polling booth, because who is going to let you use your unsecured laptop on their hopefully secure network running some code that you claim is what they released, but could be anything in reality? It's a Mexican standoff, as you don't trust them, and they don't trust you, so how can you go about establishing mutual trust?

Breaches
As with any computerised system, there is a risk of security breaches. I don't really have the expertise to address anything really, but I'll list some of the ones that could happen.

  • vote flooding: as happened with the MTV Best Act Ever award in 2008, where multiple scripts were created to vote for Rick Astley. I doubt MTV cared that many people voted more than once, but for a national election, being able to verify the identity of your voters to make sure that they haven't already voted is really important. But then, that clashes a bit with the desire for privacy - how do yo guarantee that the system isn't storing your credentials against your vote?
  • vote integrity: making sure that the votes are as they were cast, and that no votes were removed, nor extra votes added.
  • vote security: I don't know how important this one is, but I imagine you really don't want people to have free access to all of the voting data. Or maybe you do, because then everyone (with the required expertise) can run their own implementation of the vote-counting software to verify the results. Who knows?
Quality
How do you know the software works? There is an entire field dedicated to testing software, and the various methods and tools used to do it. That's not to say that they're perfect, but the ideal e-voting system will need to be very thoroughly tested. And probably audited by a heap of independent companies. 

Usability
How do you make your software easy enough for everyone to use? Again, an entire field dedicated to user interface design. The system needs to take into consideration people with various disabilities, people who may have little or no computer experience, people who just like to try and break things (I'm looking at you, darkpast), fat people, skinny people, tall people, short people, people who don't speak English, people who hate voting, people who might want to do an invalid vote. Lots of cases!


OK, so all I really did was list a heap of reasons why we shouldn't have e-voting, but as I said before, I don't think these issues are impossible to overcome, and there are lots of clever people working on it, including Vanessa Teague, who I heard about a lot of this from. e-voting does bring with it some positives - faster vote tallying, the ability to randomise the placement of candidates on a ballot (though technically you could do that with paper voting), depending on your security model, the ability to vote anywhere which would remove the need for polling stations which would also mean less harassment from parties telling you how to vote and less lines, less room for human error, huge paper savings.

I'm not quite ready to give up on e-voting, and I hope that if it ever does roll around, the public perception is a bit better.

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Today I learned that the country code for the UK is +44, which I only learned because someone sent me a text message from a number with that code, and I'm guessing it's spam of some sort.

Wednesday 18 March 2015

Kiss Kiss Dang Dang

I'm pretty lucky in that in my workplace, there isn't much in terms of gender differences, but there is one thing that I really dislike. Whenever someone leaves, there is the farewell, and that person will go around the team thanking everyone for working with them, and you get to pass on your well wishes. Then there's a handshake and a goodbye. Except if you're a woman. Then you get the awkward pause where you both try and work out if you should shake hands or go for the hug.

There is nobody on the team that I feel comfortable hugging, not even my friends. To try and alleviate the awkwardness, I usually extend my hand for a handshake. It works about 50% of the time, the other times, the person will use my extended hand to pull me into a hug. The last couple of farewells I went to, they went past the hug and into the kiss on each cheek. The first time that happened, I must have had a pretty shocked look on my face, because the kisser went on to explain that it's a "European thing". Grad Daniel later said to me that it might be a European thing, but people of the kisser's nationality don't tend to do the double-kiss, so I don't know, maybe he was drunk.

I really wish I could be treated like everyone else and just have my hand shaken. Before getting a job, I read a lot about handshakes, and how you shouldn't do the limp fish, and you should make sure that your hands aren't sweaty. I feel like I've put a lot of effort into my handshakes, especially as my grip has gotten a lot stronger since I started working out, and I may have accidentally crushed the hand of the head of technology in UK when he came to visit our team - but he seems OK now. It's a work-in-progress and I'd like to keep improving.

The other bad part about hugs is that you have to be careful how you hug someone. I'm always really conscious of hugging other people, especially other women, when you go for the boob-on-boob contact, and I worry that they'll think I'm weird, or that I'm forcing myself on them. So I try to do the inverted V hug as much as possible without it seeming too weird. Unfortunately, hugging each other as a greeting seems to be a social norm, so I'm just going to accept it and move on.

However, I did send an email out to a few of the wedding guests that I'm close to about this whole thing. I requested that instead of giving me a hug and/or kiss to congratulate us when MrMan5.5 go around talking to everyone, that they shake my hand instead. A couple of them replied that they'll give me high-fives. Much better for me on the comfort scale.

If I make any contribution to the equality movement at all, I would like it to be this: handshakes for all!

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Today I learned that Tasmania and Western Australia have an e-voting system that constitutes of you putting into a computer who you want to vote for, and the computer printing out your ballot paper marked in that particular way. Great for people who have difficulty using a pencil and paper.... quoted as a "$3000 pencil" for everyone else. I'm glad we are moving more into the digital age though.

Tuesday 17 March 2015

Not Unattractive, Part 2

So I did it today. It went about as badly as expected.

(not actual conversation, because I can't be bothered remoting in to check the chat log, but the gist of it)
Me: Would you be insulted if someone said you were not unattractive?
Grad Daniel (GD): Well, I guess it depends. Saying something like that would mean they have to say something back to preserve their social standing.
Me: So you think it's a negative thing?
GD: Well, yeah, nobody wants to hear that from anyone.
Me: Personally, I think it's nice. If you're not unattractive, them it means you are at least average, or better.
GD: Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh, double negative. That changes things. I guess it would be good to hear it, but very confronting.
Me: OK, well, in that case, I will tell you over IM so you can hide your reaction if you want. I think you are not unattractive.
GD: Ahhhhhh, Anna-senpai is so nice!
Me: I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not...
It went a lot better with Intern Daniel.
Me: I think you are not unattractive.
Intern Daniel: Well, that's better than being called ugly.
I got a lot of mixed advice about whether to use the term "not unattractive or not". I decided to go with "not unattractive" because then at least it's a decent conversation topic on its own, and I can decide based on how they respond whether to keep going or not. Not required for Intern Daniel, because we are always just talking about rubbish anyway.

However, unrelated to the Daniels, just in general, I have been told that using the phrase "not unattractive" gives the impression that I am purposely avoiding saying "attractive", which might cause the other person to think that they aren't attractive, otherwise I would have just used "attractive". It does also have connotations attached to it, regardless of how you preface it, "I'm already in a relationship, but I think you are an attractive person."

Oh, no, I just realised I never got a chance to explain myself to Grad Daniel why I thought he was an awesome person in the first place, because I was too busy with work. Oh well, I guess he will never know.

Anyway, I spoke to another married couple, and both of them seemed to agree that I was better off just saying nothing. So perhaps I need a better method to try and make people feel good about themselves. Grad Daniel wasn't my only target though, there were some other people who I wanted to tell this to, and I got the chance to as part of my research. But I also may have almost caused a fight.

If you recall, when I first brought this up, I ended up messaging a married friend as part of my experiment, and he didn't respond as he was asleep. I typed out an explanation below, and he replied to me the next morning telling me what his response would have been. But apparently his wife saw the first message, and was really panicked for a moment, until he told her to keep reading and she saw my explanation and they both laughed. He said she was OK with it, but I kinda feel like I should message her now to apologise, because in hindsight, it was a pretty terrible thing to do, I should have thought it through a bit more. In the past, I've always been able to be very candid with this friend, and I was used to being able to say any kind of rubbish to him, but I see now that the message would have had very dire consequences if she had taken it the wrong way. I feel really bad, and I'm not sure if I should message her to apologise, or if that would make it look even more suspicious.

Either way, going to chalk this one up to a horribly failed experiment.

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Today I learned that hemlock is a poison that is sometimes used in executions.

Monday 16 March 2015

Thin Grey Line

I had my hen's afternoon today. It was nice to catch up with high school friends. I found out that one of them is working in a crime lab. She does get to do some cool stuff, but she said that it's nothing like what's showed on CSI. I know that deep down, but a part of me still regrets not doing it. Same with police work, I came across a Reddit thread where a police officer talks about what it's like to be on the force, and he said that you see a lot of messed up stuff, and you need to be able to deal with it every day.

I love crime TV shows though. Mostly the less serious ones, like CSI, or Monk, and I've just started watching Castle. I like the good guys vs bad guys fight, but I know that real life isn't so black and white. Though some of the more profound episodes of crime shows, yes, even CSI, are the ones where the episode ends, and rather than feeling like it was all wrapped up nicely, you feel like justice was perverted. I can't remember the episode title, but there was one episode where there was a pair of twins. One twin left DNA at a crime scene, and I can't exactly remember how it played out, but his twin was arrested, and eventually convicted, even though the CSI team was pretty sure the first twin committed the crime. They just didn't have the evidence to back it up as everything pointed to the second twin.

Or there was one where the CSI team pressured one of the witnesses to identify their suspect in a police line-up. She doesn't want to because she's afraid, but it's the only piece of evidence that the police have, so they keep pushing her, until she finally breaks and does it, identifying the criminal. That night, she is killed on her way home, presumably by the accomplices of the person she picked out, and so the police lose their only witness. The entire thing goes unsolved as they lack any other evidence.

That's why I don't think I'll make it as a police officer. I imagine myself as a Frank Lundy-type (from Dexter), where I'll have a case I just won't be able to solve, and I'll become obsessed with it, even trying to solve it after retirement. I have a feeling I will also get caught up in trying to put "bad guys" away, when in reality, sometimes it's better to offer a deal to the smaller fish in order to catch a bigger fish. That thing has never really sat well with me. I do understand that the higher-ups effectively cause more damage to society, so for the "greater good" it is worth trading some of the smaller criminals in order to get a big one, but I don't like the fact that the smaller criminals can get off with a lighter punishment just because they're willing to betray someone else. Though snitching does seem to be bad for your health, if I've learned anything from The Wire.

I'm just really too black and white to operate in a world of grey. I really think I missed my calling as an accountant. At least there's no fitness requirement to become one of those.

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Today I learned that men's suits are designed so that the bottom button isn't buttoned up. This is because King Edward VII was too fat to button his up and the fashion spread.

Sunday 15 March 2015

Ragers Gonna Rage

I can't remember if I've written about this before, but Valve implemented a reporting system for Dota 2. One of the categories you can report other players for is "Communication abuse". If a player gets too many reports in that category, they become muted and are unable to type their own messages to others, nor use the voice chat. They can only use the chat wheel that lets them send pre-defined messages to other players, like so:



After a while, they become unmuted, and regain their ability to talk to other players. I'm not sure how long the muting lasts, but I assume it's related to the number of reports that player receives, along with how many times they've been muted in the past. A month after implementing this feature, Valve wrote a blog post about what they found:


  • Since the ban system has been implemented, there’s been a 35% drop in negative communication interactions.
  • Less than the 1% of the active player base (players who have played Dota 2 in the last month) are currently banned.
  • 60% of players who receive bans go on to modify their behavior and don’t receive further bans.
  • Total reports are down more than 30%, even after accounting for the reduction in the number permitted per week.


Dota 2 does have its own in-game muting system, so you can choose to mute another player so that you don't have to listen to them, but Valve said the reason they decided to put in this feature is that muting another player doesn't give that player feedback that they are being a dick. Looking at the stats they've provided, it seems like it's working in reforming some of the worst players.

Sometimes.... it doesn't quite work as intended. I've had this person on my friends list for a while now, and I've only ever played with him once. I should have started this a lot sooner, but over about two months, I've been taking screenshots of his Steam username. See, while muted players are not able to type messages to other players in the game, they are still allowed to change their own name. So some people get around the system by changing their name to whatever abusive thing they want to say.

As my friend has done:










I actually find him really fascinating. He seems completely oblivious to the fact that he is constantly getting muted over and over again, and the reason for that is because he is an abusive player. I would have thought it would click after the second or third time, but to be muted over and over again over a period of two months?! 

To be fair, he isn't a bad player skill-wise, but I have noticed that he constantly blames others when things go badly. When Dota 2 first released the rated matchmaking system, we had a chat after we had both been rated (you need to play ten calibration games before getting your rating). He asked me what I thought about the system, and I said that it seemed fair to me (though I did win 8 out of my 10 calibration matches, so perhaps I was a bit biased). He said that it was completely unfair to be matched with randoms and have that affect your rating. He said that he constantly got matched with bad teammates, so he didn't do very well in his calibration games.

I just really can't wrap my head around the fact that he can't see that he is the issue. I really want to message him and say, "So, I've noticed that you've been muted a lot lately. What's up with that?" but I have a feeling that he will say it's because douchebag players report him because they don't like him. I know it's tempting to report people that you don't like, but you are limited in the number of reports that you receive per week (3), so you can't just go around reporting people willy-nilly or you'll quickly run out and will regret it when someone truly horrible comes along.

A part of me wonders if maybe I can save him from being muted. If I played enough games with him and calmed down our teammates so they wouldn't continue reporting him, maybe he'd learn by example and be glad to be able to communicate with other people properly. He obviously really cares about the game, as he still plays it after being muted, and he sinks quite a few hours into it per week. Aside from the minor schadenfreude from seeing him constantly have to update his name, I feel sad for him, as I can understand how frustrating it is when you feel like you've done everything that you can, only to lose due to something outside your control.

Then I remember that he is probably slinging abuse to people he has never met, and quite a large number of people by the looks of things. I've been on the receiving end of abuse quite a lot, and all I can say is, it's not a nice feeling. It's very hard not to get emotional, and want to yell back, so I try to compartmetalise it away to deal with after the game is over so that I can stay focused. Doesn't always work, especially when the abuse is hurled towards one of my friends, then I really struggle not to get into an Internet shouting match. Do you think that perhaps some people are just really angry deep down, and there's nothing that you can do to help them? 

Saturday 14 March 2015

Not Unattractive

A friend of mine was feeling pretty down about going out to meet people, and he said he couldn't do it because he was unattractive. I told him that I didn't think he was unattractive, and he replied that it doesn't count if that comes from someone who isn't dating him, because then it's just a friend giving platitudes. It is only from someone who wants to have sex with you can you truly know whether you are attractive or not.

First of all, wow, now I know how it feels to be on the other side, where your friend doesn't trust your compliment simply because you are their friend. To be perfectly honest, I haven't seen him in a while, and he claims that he has gained a lot of weight since I last saw him. However, when I last saw him, he was also quite buff, as he had been going to the gym a lot, so I find it hard to believe that he has transformed so much in a few months that he can now label himself attractive. But I have to admit I was basing it on the last time I saw him, which he also agrees he was not unattractive at that point.

Anyway, if I haven't completely confused you by this point, I was thinking about what kind of friendship do you need to have where you can give each other compliments like that? I believe Intern Daniel and I have that kind of relationship. We have both dropped quite a lot of weight over the years, and we feel completely comfortable talking about each other's guns (or lack thereof). However, I believe part of that is the fact that he is in a long-term relationship and so am I, and we both know that.

In contrast, there's Grad Daniel, who eats nearly the same thing every day in order to bulk up (or because he gets really hungry, I'm really struggling to tell the difference now, as apparently he eats five meals a day and he said he has always been like that), and works out quite a lot. We will talk about his food, and about his gym habits, but never compliment him on his progress - even though he is actually quite tanky, you just can't tell unless he wears a T-shirt. I wanted to say something to him today, but I feel like he would take it the wrong way. He knows about MrMan5.5, so I don't think he would think I'm after him, or something silly like that, but I just get the feeling that he wouldn't react very well. Plus, I don't know if it's a factor, but he is single. Maybe that is the issue though, because of MrMan5.5, it would be really awkward for me to compliment someone on their attractiveness if they are single, because they might think I'm hitting on them.

Can you only give compliments to people who are already in relationships? That just seems messed up in the sense that the other partner might be worried you are trying to steal their man, or I don't know. I can't believe that's the case. So what is it? Thinking about some of my other friends who are in long term relationships, I don't know if it would work with them. I just messaged one say that I don't think he's not unattractive, and he hasn't responded. I hope his wife wasn't using his computer to browse the Internet, and happen to see that message. Oh no, what have I done?! Although Facebook says he's "online", Steam has him set to "snooze" so chances are he won't even see this until tomorrow morning. OK, I typed out an explanation in case his wife does stumble upon it, and I know it looks super suss, so next time I plan to do an experiment, I should wait for the other person to respond. I've lost all courage to continue the experiment now. T_T

I'm thinking back to that mating game post I wrote a while back, where you imagine everyone has a number on their head indicating how attractive they are. The 8-10s probably have a good idea that they are attractive based on the responses from the people around them, but the people in the middle have no idea where they sit, and since people tend not to praise others for being average, I wonder if a lot of them go through life believing they are below-average when they are really not. Secondly, I wonder if it would be a compliment to tell someone who thinks they are below average that they are simply average.

The aforementioned friend also said that I cannot rate myself as unattractive due to the fact that I have a partner, who must find me attractive, otherwise he wouldn't be with me. I asked him what he thought about the fact that MrMan5.5 might only be with me for my money, and he said that money can be part of what makes you attractive. So evidently we're not just talking about physical attractiveness here. Though I did try to tell a friend that he is attractive in the non-physical sense, i.e. he has a stable job that pays fairly well, he has his own house, he is intelligent, responsible, has a good sense of humour. He didn't seem to take it too well.

It's really hard to rate your own attractiveness. I guess it's easier for people with high physical attractiveness to rate their physical traits, because they can see them clearly, and will often get a reaction from others. Traits like sense of humour and stable income are pretty difficult to rate.

If I were to rate myself, I think I'd be a 6. I have a bunch of negative modifiers going for me: lack of confidence, billion health problems, high neuroticism, lack of ambition are the ones I can think of right now. I also have some pretty strong positive modifiers, like niche industry (hello software development, finance and gaming!), open-mindedness, good listening skills. As my friend said, I can't be completely unattractive, as I managed to trick four guys into dating me, and one into a friends with benefits relationship. My appearance is pretty much set, but I believe that I can work on some of the other things. I was really hung up on the appearance thing earlier though, especially in high school, and it meant that I didn't see a lot of my other awesome traits. In high school, I would have rated myself a 2. I feel like if someone had told me I had a lot of other good traits, I wouldn't have been so down on myself at that time.

That's going to be my new project, I want to try and show people how awesome they are, and raise their belief in their own attractiveness. I may have spent too long in /r/foreverAlone, and I will wake up and regret this idea in the morning.

--------------------------

OK, I found someone who was awake at this time, but the experiment was a failure as I got a confused response more than anything else:

[12:31:53 AM] Me: i think you are not unattractive!
[12:31:59 AM] Friend: umm, thanks
[12:32:05 AM] Friend: : random?
[12:32:12 AM] Me: happy or sad reaction?
[12:32:20 AM] Friend: I think you told me that before
[12:32:28 AM] Me: neutral reaction?
[12:32:33 AM] Friend: I guess happy if I didn't know
-------------- snip----------------------
[12:36:07 AM] Friend: it's strange wording
[12:36:07 AM] Friend: like you don't want to say attractive
[12:36:13 AM] Me: what should I have said?
[12:36:20 AM] Friend: I dunno
[12:36:25 AM] Friend: it's strange to call someone normal
[12:36:36 AM] Friend: if they feel bad and think they are below normal
[12:36:39 AM] Friend: then it's nice to call them normal
[12:37:03 AM] Me: what if you are average?
[12:37:17 AM] Me: isn't it good to reaffirm that you are not below average?
[12:37:21 AM] Friend: then it sounds a bit strange to me
[12:37:22 AM] Friend: I suppose
[12:37:29 AM] Friend: that's why I don't feel bad about it
[12:39:14 AM] Me: would you have felt uncomfortable if I had said attractive instead?
[12:39:46 AM] Friend: I'd feel pretty happy and it wouldn't be uncomfortable

This friend happens to be married, so maybe you can only compliment people who are in a relationship on how attractive they are without having to worry that they think you're hitting on them.

I'm at a loss, how do I tell Grad Daniel that I think he's a great person without him thinking that I'm hitting on him, and without him thinking that I'm only saying it because he's my friend? Wait until he gets a girlfriend? But what if he doesn't feel confident enough because he doesn't realise how awesome he is, and so this opportunity never arises?

I'm too tired to think about this anymore, brain is exhausted from cramming.
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Today I learned that if a Java Object is eligible for garbage collection, and its finalize() method causes it to be no longer eligible for garbage collection, the next time it's up to be garbage collected, its finalize() method will not be called.