Naming Rights

Hopefully a quick post, as I am meant to be sleeping right now, but I felt like I had to get this off my chest. We all probably have a friend out there who happens to engage in various flings over the course of a few years, and unless you know the flings in question, it is usually hard to keep track of them all ("Was Henry that guy you met at the parachute shop who studied law?" "No, that was George. Henry was my housemate's sister's gardener." "Oh, right."). Plus, there are some occasions where you may be the friend who has flings, and you don't feel comfortable divulging the identity of the other party. Whatever the reason, it seems that a lot of people go the route of the Sex and the City-esque nicknames for partners. Is it a good idea for you, as the friend of the person with flings, to be the giver of nicknames, or should you just let the other person decide?

Obviously, the nickname will tend to be something memorable about the fling (That Guy With the Big Ears, The Chick With the Fake Boobs, That Doctor Who Treats Very Small Elephants), but you might think is memorable about someone may not necessarily be something the other person thinks is an appropriate nickname, despite how fitting it may be (That Guy With the Small Penis).

In my blogs, I've had my various MrMen, and I like that system, because it is easy for me to differentiate different guys (though it may be hard for others to tell them apart), but it is also something that is non-descriptive, so whenever I introduce a new guy to my friends, they don't stop and think, "Hmmm, he looks like he has a small penis, I wonder if he's TGWSP." At least I hope they don't...

The downside is, when you look back, it may be hard to remember what it was about that person that really stood out for you. I do remember having feelings for MrMan1, but I struggle quite hard to remember what it was exactly that drew me to him. Maybe part of it was that by giving him this nickname, I had separated him into the person that he is in real life, and the online persona that I describe in my blogs who is MrMan1.

Other blogs that I read will give someone a fake name in order to protect the privacy of their flings, and I thought about doing that, but it seems like it will get confusing, especially if you happen to already be friends with someone who has that name. Plus, if you ever decide to introduce him to your friends, there might be an awkward moment where one of them asks, "So what happened to Mark? That blog post you wrote yesterday said you were still with him. How long have you been with Westley?"

I ask because I have a friend who is seeing a girl, but I don't know her name. He has been reluctant to talk about his female friends in the past, and I respect that, but at the same time, I'd like to be able to give him the opportunity to talk about her if he so wished, without him having to reveal her identity. I want to call her Hairy Armpits Girl, but I imagine that he would object.

On a final note, I still think Ice-Cream Cone Penis Guy is an awesome name.

Begging Friends

I met up with a friend today to pick up a rulebook from him, and as I approached him at the station, he was being accosted by someone asking him for money. He politely turned the guy down, and I waved him over. I said to him sarcastically, "Friend of yours?" and he replied, "Nah, just someone asking for money." I had an urgent need to buy season 3 of Chuck, so I asked if he didn't mind accompanying me to JB to pick it up. As it was raining and quite crowded, I lost him for a bit in the crowd, and when I found him again, he was being harassed by another beggar. I rushed over to try to save him from having to refuse again, but before I got there, he had pulled out a $5 note and handed it over. The beggar muttered something about bus fare being $8 (such a lie, it was after 6PM, so at most he would have needed a 2 hr ticket, which is $5.80 full fare for zones 1 and 2) and walked off.

Afterwards, I started to make him feel bad about it (I know, I made fun of him for not giving, then I made fun of him for giving - there is no pleasing me). It didn't make sense to me why he had the sudden change of heart, and I don't think we're close enough friends for me to have asked. It's possible that he found this beggar to be more attractive, or more funny, or something, but I think the contributing factor was that I was there.

Part of what governs the actions of most people is the idea of socially desirable actions. For instance, if you believe that people tend to like rich people, then you might dress better and eat at expensive restaurants in order to give the impression that you are more well-off than you actually are in order to impress others. I think that a lot of us are taught from a young age that kindness is important (whether directly through being told by people, or indirectly via things like fairy tales, children's TV shows and movies). Maybe a lot of us tend to be more generous when in the presence of others compared to when we are alone.

So it made me wonder, if the number of people who chose to donate, as well as the amount donated goes up in places that are crowded and encourage a window-shopping type of slow walking compared to places like Southern Cross station where there are a large number of people, but most of them aren't really paying attention to their surroundings. I don't know if it's just me, but whenever I pass a busker or beggar sitting there, I have this weird feeling that someone is watching me and waiting to see whether I donate or not. So I don't even know if whether I choose to donate has to do with whether I care about the cause, or whether I just feel guilty.

That's the thing I hate most about beggars though - the fact that they make you feel guilty. The often ask for less money than I will spend on my lunch and it is definitely a lot less money than I would spend doing something silly like playing the gashapon/UFO catchers in Tokyo. At the same time, I feel like it's a self-perpetuating thing. If you give money to them, then it proves to them that begging is a sustainable activity. I guess most of my reluctance comes from the time I went with some second floorers to eat gelati. A beggar approached MB asking him for bus money. MB gave her $5, and then right in front of us, she walked into Koko Black, and walked out a bit later with a drink in her hand.

I really feel sorry if someone was genuinely in need of a bus ticket and I have written them off as a beggar.