(In case comments are deleted or the thread dies.)
I think it was a couple of weeks ago when I had a dream that I had had sex with my manager. I felt guilty at the time, but then I realised it was probably like in Scrubs when Turk dreamt about Elliot (NSFW). Only it won't go away. It's like a switch has been flipped, I barely noticed him before and things were really cool between us, like friends. But now when I see him, I can't help but think, "I dreamt about having sex with you." It's not that bad, since we are on different projects at the moment, so I barely talk to him at work except about graduate program related things.
Except when there was a team movie night last Thursday, and we went for a drink after the movie (I only tagged along because I felt bad for the guy who organised the movie night, as only the 3 of us went). The other guy chugged down two beers, then his wife called him and he had to leave. So it left the two of us. Even though I was slowly drinking my one drink, I could feel my mind getting slower and slower and I was saying things I probably wouldn't have said normally. I was almost about to tell him about the dream when I finished my drink and I think the rational part of my mind finally won control and told me it was time to go home.
Now that I'm thinking clearly, I can see no benefit in telling him - unless my ultimate goal is to make things so awkward that I get kicked out of my team and have to try and find another role for when the graduate program ends. Which I can assure you it is not. But that does not change the fact that some days, I can't even look at him in the eye without being worried that he can read my mind and know why I feel so embarrassed.
I_KeepsItReal says that masturbating is a healthy way to cope with an infatuation. But it just doesn't seem right to do it thinking of my boss. Partly because I would feel bad as I love MrMan5.5. I don't believe that we can only think of each other while masturbating, but the fact that it's someone I actually know and not a video of a stranger on the Internet just makes it seem more real, and ups the guilt-factor.
The other part is the concern that it might get worse. Dreams happen by accident (well, sub-conscious mind, etc., etc.) - it's not like I actively made myself dream about him. If I tried to do it on purpose, then I might go from thinking I dreamt about him when I see him to the constant reminder that I fantasised about him while pleasuring myself.
I'm slowly adding to my list of reasons I regret choosing this team. Since Person is so great at sucking the sexual energy out of everything, I'm almost certain this would never have happened when I was in his team. But I console myself with the thought that I have learnt far more in 4 months in FX than I learnt in 6 months in Person's team.
Except when there was a team movie night last Thursday, and we went for a drink after the movie (I only tagged along because I felt bad for the guy who organised the movie night, as only the 3 of us went). The other guy chugged down two beers, then his wife called him and he had to leave. So it left the two of us. Even though I was slowly drinking my one drink, I could feel my mind getting slower and slower and I was saying things I probably wouldn't have said normally. I was almost about to tell him about the dream when I finished my drink and I think the rational part of my mind finally won control and told me it was time to go home.
Now that I'm thinking clearly, I can see no benefit in telling him - unless my ultimate goal is to make things so awkward that I get kicked out of my team and have to try and find another role for when the graduate program ends. Which I can assure you it is not. But that does not change the fact that some days, I can't even look at him in the eye without being worried that he can read my mind and know why I feel so embarrassed.
I_KeepsItReal says that masturbating is a healthy way to cope with an infatuation. But it just doesn't seem right to do it thinking of my boss. Partly because I would feel bad as I love MrMan5.5. I don't believe that we can only think of each other while masturbating, but the fact that it's someone I actually know and not a video of a stranger on the Internet just makes it seem more real, and ups the guilt-factor.
The other part is the concern that it might get worse. Dreams happen by accident (well, sub-conscious mind, etc., etc.) - it's not like I actively made myself dream about him. If I tried to do it on purpose, then I might go from thinking I dreamt about him when I see him to the constant reminder that I fantasised about him while pleasuring myself.
I'm slowly adding to my list of reasons I regret choosing this team. Since Person is so great at sucking the sexual energy out of everything, I'm almost certain this would never have happened when I was in his team. But I console myself with the thought that I have learnt far more in 4 months in FX than I learnt in 6 months in Person's team.
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