Making the Cut

I passed my final table test today, so now I'm allowed to go and deal to people playing with real money. It's a bit saddening, our six weeks of training is nearly over. We lost a few people along the way, but we've all become really close, which I really like.

With the past month and a half of full time work, I've come to see that there is too much going on in my life, and just trying to fit everything in has made me feel so exhausted that I pretty much fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. It will be good after the SEE AGM (3 more weeks to go...) to give up my position as treasurer, because... I don't even know where to begin really. I guess I've just moved on from a lot of things, and without a computer, gaming has become something that I remember doing in the past, but don't really feel compelled to do now.

It just seems like ever since I started working, time goes by so fast, and I don't really remember doing anything. I was talking to Dante about how it felt as though I hadn't had time to myself in a while, and he said that I should just turn my phone off for 2 days, stay away from the computer, and relax. I'm torn because on one hand, I feel so guilty that I haven't been able to spend time with anyone due to work at uni taking up nearly every single hour of my day, but on the other hand, mostly I just want to sleep. I guess that's the other reason I'm resentful towards SEE at the moment. The only day I really get to sleep in is taken up with running errands for SEE, and I hate it. I spend weekend mornings ferrying my family around, which is also getting on my nerves.

Anyway, it's another ending in my life, and there were good and bad parts to it, but I guess I don't really regret having done it. I met some nice people, and tried some games I probably never would have touched before (TF2, L4D).

I think it's a bit selfish to want to offload things onto other people, but I really can't do this any more. I wanted so much to take a break from work, and our trainer said that gaming licenses were being held up at the moment, and if we don't have a license, we're not allowed onto the floor to deal, but unfortunately for me, mine got through somehow, and so I'll be starting as soon as possible. I just wanted to rant about it here, since I can't do it at work because so many of the others are really pissed off that they don't have their license yet.

This is probably why most of the dealers said most of their friends are from work, because they keep the same hours, so it's easy to hang out, nobody else can really understand how annoying it is to have a player that does X, and it seems like you end up practically living and breathing your work that the world outside drifts away.

I'm probably just being a tired emo bitch who is now going to bed.