Set It Free

If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.

At work two nights ago, a guy at my table was trying to pick up two of the girls sitting at his table. He had been buying them drinks, was pretending that he didn't care about money by throwing chips around, and letting them bet his chips (although the sad part was, once they left, the $50 notes that he had been throwing around carelessly starting becoming $20, which then became $5/10 notes and loose change - and he was still playing when I left). Unfortunately for him, when the girls were ready to leave, they admitted to both being taken (one was engaged, one had a boyfriend). I thought that was really poor form from the girls. I mentioned it to my supervisor, and he was of the belief that it doesn't matter whether someone is taken. He said that if you want something, you should take it. I asked him how he would feel if some guy was flirting with his girlfriend, and he replied with:

If you love someone, set them free; if they come back, it was meant to be, if they don't... hunt them down and kill them.

I couldn't really tell if he was joking or not, but then I came across this thing in mX where a girl wrote in asking other readers for advice.

"My boyfriend is going on a world trip and I'm scared he'll cheat. What do I do?"
-Worried, mX Friday, May 1

"What happens on tour stays on tour. Let him have his holiday romance and he'll come home to you."

"Worried, chances are he will cheat when he's away. It's part of the experience. if that's not OK with you, move on and save the worrying."

"Worried, give your boyfriend the best going away present before he leaves - then he'll know anyone else can only give him second best."

"Tell him you're not waiting for him. If it's true love, he will fight for you on his return. Then you don't have to worry about something you can't change."

"If he truly loves you he shouldn't have the heart to leave you for so long."

"If you're so worried about your man cheating then maybe there is a bigger issue going on. And it's probably best to address that first."


There's something I've spoken to Julian about a couple of times, and it's the idea of letting MrMan5.5 have another girlfriend. The rationale behind it is, if we never break up, he'll never know what else is out there. He'll have nothing for comparison, and he might be in the worst relationship ever, but he'll never ever know because he doesn't know that there could be something better out there! Julian ended up marrying his first girlfriend (without having dated anyone else in between), and he said that he doesn't mind it - although he has only been married for a month, so only time will tell. Hopefully it doesn't turn out bad though - fingers crossed!

Anyway, I thought a good time would be when I go overseas. One factor I hadn't taken into account with the whole second girlfriend thing was that I would still be influencing him, so he might decide to spend time with me instead of her just because it's easier - since we're past that awkward just-starting-to-go-out stage. So if I'm on the other side of the world, it won't be so easy for him to ask me to go over to his house to watch DVDs, or eat pizza. Physical presence seems to change so much. The way I thought about all of the Perth WoW guys was so different before and after I met them IRL, and talking to them online just doesn't feel the same - although it is so much easier to think up things to say to Kalg when it's not face-to-face.

I'm so curious though. If he knew what it was like to have a different girlfriend, would he regret having asked me out? I asked him, and he said that even though I gave him permission, to him it would still feel like cheating and he didn't want to do it. Curiosity. T____________________T