Begging Friends

I met up with a friend today to pick up a rulebook from him, and as I approached him at the station, he was being accosted by someone asking him for money. He politely turned the guy down, and I waved him over. I said to him sarcastically, "Friend of yours?" and he replied, "Nah, just someone asking for money." I had an urgent need to buy season 3 of Chuck, so I asked if he didn't mind accompanying me to JB to pick it up. As it was raining and quite crowded, I lost him for a bit in the crowd, and when I found him again, he was being harassed by another beggar. I rushed over to try to save him from having to refuse again, but before I got there, he had pulled out a $5 note and handed it over. The beggar muttered something about bus fare being $8 (such a lie, it was after 6PM, so at most he would have needed a 2 hr ticket, which is $5.80 full fare for zones 1 and 2) and walked off.

Afterwards, I started to make him feel bad about it (I know, I made fun of him for not giving, then I made fun of him for giving - there is no pleasing me). It didn't make sense to me why he had the sudden change of heart, and I don't think we're close enough friends for me to have asked. It's possible that he found this beggar to be more attractive, or more funny, or something, but I think the contributing factor was that I was there.

Part of what governs the actions of most people is the idea of socially desirable actions. For instance, if you believe that people tend to like rich people, then you might dress better and eat at expensive restaurants in order to give the impression that you are more well-off than you actually are in order to impress others. I think that a lot of us are taught from a young age that kindness is important (whether directly through being told by people, or indirectly via things like fairy tales, children's TV shows and movies). Maybe a lot of us tend to be more generous when in the presence of others compared to when we are alone.

So it made me wonder, if the number of people who chose to donate, as well as the amount donated goes up in places that are crowded and encourage a window-shopping type of slow walking compared to places like Southern Cross station where there are a large number of people, but most of them aren't really paying attention to their surroundings. I don't know if it's just me, but whenever I pass a busker or beggar sitting there, I have this weird feeling that someone is watching me and waiting to see whether I donate or not. So I don't even know if whether I choose to donate has to do with whether I care about the cause, or whether I just feel guilty.

That's the thing I hate most about beggars though - the fact that they make you feel guilty. The often ask for less money than I will spend on my lunch and it is definitely a lot less money than I would spend doing something silly like playing the gashapon/UFO catchers in Tokyo. At the same time, I feel like it's a self-perpetuating thing. If you give money to them, then it proves to them that begging is a sustainable activity. I guess most of my reluctance comes from the time I went with some second floorers to eat gelati. A beggar approached MB asking him for bus money. MB gave her $5, and then right in front of us, she walked into Koko Black, and walked out a bit later with a drink in her hand.

I really feel sorry if someone was genuinely in need of a bus ticket and I have written them off as a beggar.