A week later, he makes more small talk, asking about work. Then 5 days later:
YN
Anna I came across a business opportunity
It is something that I am doing on the side as an extra source of income
I know this sounds random, but I know you are a very talented person, can I get your opinion on this, and it will be an opportunity to catch up with you too
Me
Sure, just a warning though. I'm not very business minded, so I can't say how much I can contribute. Don't want you to waste your time.
YN
That's cool, I would appreciate your view regardless
When is a good time I can see you this evening?
Me
This evening isn't very good for me. Already have plans. But if you're in/near the cbd on Tuesday, I can meet you after work.
YN
Super
I finish work around 6pm
Do you mind if it's late?
Me
No, that's fine.
I guess I wasn't thinking very clearly, as I agreed so easily. At this stage, I was mostly curious. But then I realised, he hasn't seen me in 10 years. I don't put my employment information on Facebook, and I only told him that I am currently working and studying Java, so he could probably guess that I'm a programmer, but I might just be doing something else and studying Java in my spare time. So I tried to get more information. My other thought was that he had worked out that I was a programmer, and wanted me to build a website for his new business. Because all programmers are the same, right? And they're all willing to do it for free for friends and family, because it's what they love doing, more than anything else in the world.
Me
Can you give me any background so that I can do some research before we meet up?
YN
Yes, my business is based on the essential services industry
Energy and telecommunications
Me
And what is it that you are trying to do?
YN
I market these services to my friends and family
Me
I know this sounds harsh, but are you just meeting up with me to sell me something?
YN
No that's ok, it's not harsh as I'm not selling
Just your view on an idea that I wanted you to see
I know that you have many questions running through your mind
It's ok,
I wanted to see you personally as my business is very visual
He said he wasn't selling anything, but he still wanted my view - only he still doesn't know what it is I even do for a living, or what my skillset even is - other than running and eating KFC, which is most of my Facebook feed at the moment. At this point, I was pretty convinced that maybe he had taken the break up harder than I thought, and had 10 years of resentment built up. Maybe he wanted to lure me into a dark alley and stab me in the heart or something overly dramatic like that. Because to be perfectly honest, if he wasn't selling anything, and he was being super vague about this "business opportunity", I couldn't really think of why he'd want to meet me.
I also asked Sharon if he had approached her, as I figured if he was selling something, he'd probably try to hit up as many people as possible, before word got out. She said he hadn't contacted her.
Pretty much everyone was telling me it would be a waste of time to meet up with him. I even had it saved in my calendar as an event called "STUPID WASTE OF TIME MEETING WITH YN". Unfortunately, a part of me felt like I owed it to him, for what we had once upon a time, so I didn't cancel.
However, I tried to get more info before the meet-up:
MeThat taking over the world thing was a pretty low blow. It was a promise we made to each other at the end of high school. He was going to study nanotechnology and build robots, and I was going to write the software to run them. I was actually pretty surprised that he remembered. But it was at that point that I realised he was going to try and appeal to my emotions, and as hard as I try to distance myself from them, I do tend to let my heart govern my head far too often.
I've thought about this a bit more. What exactly do you want me to do? Offer advice? I'm confused as to what my role is.
YN
It's all good Anna, let's make it a surprise for you
Don't need to do anything until you see it actually
Just think of our plan to take over the world... Did you forget?
Me
No, I did not forget. But taking over the world is not a goal for me anymore. I've seen how hard it is to manage a group of 5 people. I can't even imagine trying to run a whole world.
YN
I understand..
Me
To be perfectly honest, I don't really want to waste my time. I can't imagine what exists that you would need my advice on. Especially as you have no idea what my area of expertise even is!
YN
It's Ok
Do you have 30 minutes tommorrow?
Trust me if it is a waste of time for you.. You could only lose 30minutes of your time and I thought it would be an opportunity to catch up..
Me
ok
where and when do you want to meet up? (followed by meetup details)
So I dragged in some last minute reinforcements, in the form of Uni Paul, which turned out for the best, since about 10 minutes before we were due to meet up, YN messaged me to say that he was bringing someone, too. The fact that he had organised for someone else to come meant that I was now 100% on guard. I don't think he had ever intended to just catch-up with me, though I couldn't say anything, since I had also violated the catch-up agreement by inviting someone else. I tried to think up a cover story for why Uni Paul would be with me, but in the end, it didn't matter, as they didn't ask.
Introductions were made, and the four of us sat down at a table in the food court (I'm not entirely stupid, I did make sure to meet YN in a public, crowded place, just in case he did try to stab me. Plus, it was close to the train station, so I would have an easy escape route). Actually, before that, he brought up the taking over the world thing again. I think he was trying to build a sense of closeness, but all it really did was put me even more on guard.
Not long after sitting down, his friend (I forgot his name, so I'm just going to call him Sam) started making some small talk, while YN pulled out these flyers. One side had a picture of Celebrity Apprentice on it. At this point, all thoughts that he was about to murder me left my mind, and I was looking for some hidden cameras, as I figured he and Sam were on some challenge set by Celebrity Apprentice (I don't watch much reality TV, so I really don't know what that show involves - though in hindsight, it's called Celebrity Apprentice, and I don't think YN is all that famous....).
Uni Paul and I flip over the flyer and it has a bunch of boxes with different pictures. Sam begins to ask if we are familiar with network marketing. I don't know if Uni Paul caught on, but I figured we would go the Smart Cop, Dumb Cop route, so whenever I was asked if I knew something, I said no. And Uni Paul said yes. I don't know if this is actually a tactic, but I've done it before with salespeople, and they always seem to focus their slimy tactics on the Dumb Cop. Given that I invited Paul to stop me from doing anything stupid, I thought it would be a good idea to try and direct their tricks on me, so he would keep a clear mind. Not that I didn't think he would keep one anyway, but just to be on the safe side.
Anyway, he starts to talk about network marketing, and Uni Paul brings up multi-level marketing and pyramid schemes. He is very quick to establish that this isn't a pyramid scheme. He goes on to say how he hates the idea of working for someone else, and how he has to ask his boss for permission to take time off to stay with his kid. More appealing to emotion rubbish. I happen to like my boss, so this has no effect on me.
Sam explains that this business is about direct selling of various services, like phone, internet, electricity. Naive me still believed at this point that YN was asking for advice on whether he should take a job in this company. Then Sam got on to the part about commission, and taking a percentage of every bill that one of your customers pays. So instead of it going to some CEO somewhere that it hates, your family can rest easy knowing that part of their bill payments are going into your pocket! Hooray! Pretty much most of what I heard coming out of Sam's mouth was, "Pyramid, pyramid, pyramid, pyramid, I know I said it's not a pyramid, but it is a pyramid." He kept referring to YN selling things and bringing people in, and at that point, I realised he had partaken (?) in the Kool-Aid.
YN did say that he wasn't selling anything, and technically he was correct. Sam was doing all of the selling, but I was still furious. Here's how I saw the situation:
- He thinks I'm stupid enough to get sucked into this kind of scheme.
- He clearly doesn't value my friendship, as he's trying to suck me into this scheme.
- Despite the fact that I clearly said I didn't want to have my time wasted, he still pushed me to go, and though technically correct in the sense that he didn't sell me anything, it's really pushing it.
- Despite our history, he doesn't value my time, and just sees me as a source of extra money.
I guess they realised at around box 8 (of 10 boxes) that we weren't really interested in giving them any money. Though they weren't entirely ready to give up. Sam challenged us to check out YN's lifestyle at the end of the year to see how well he was doing. To be honest, if this works out for him, then that's good for him, but given how little he seems to hold me in regard, I'm not going to go out of my way to help him. I am definitely not going to introduce him to what I see as potential victims.
Plus, the Sam dude also mentioned that he had just chucked $100,000 into a failed venture, so I really don't trust his judgement on how viable this "business opportunity" is. Here it is, if you're interested, and here are a bunch of sites saying it's a scam:
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/acn-a-pyramid-scheme-or-oppurtunity
http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/archive/228738
http://ethanvanderbuilt.com/2014/04/29/acn-scam-yes-opinion/
After I got home, I sent YN another message on FB:
I didn't want to say this to you in front of your friend, but I'm pretty pissed off that you used "catching up" as an excuse to try and sell me something - especially as I already asked if you were selling me something
He called me, but I missed it, so he sent a message:
Anna when can I call you.? I think you have misinterpreted what I showed you.. How did I try and sell you something. ?
Yes, I know technically there was nothing sold, and I called him back and tried to explain how it was a pyramid scheme (though according to the ACCC, it's not legally a pyramid scheme, i.e. it is legal, but it's still dodgy). He kept insisting that he wasn't selling me anything, and for some reason, Sam was still with him (WTF, if taking part in this means having to live with your mentor, then I'm glad I gave it a pass). He put Sam back on the phone. I said I didn't want to speak to him (Sam), and before passing it back to YN, Sam explained that I didn't understand what a pyramid scheme was, and that he felt sorry for me. So when YN got back on the line, I asked him to remove my number from his phone.
That last part was pretty tough. I can't believe that I used to care for this person. And I also can't believe that someone who used to care for me is now so willing to exploit me for money. I can't believe that I wanted so badly for this to be something not related to using me for something. I can't believe that everyone around me was saying not to do it, and I did it anyway.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Possibly if Uni Paul hadn't been there, I might have fallen for it. That's probably why he tried to call me again later. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
At least I kept my side of the bargain, I'm currently writing software. I don't know exactly what he's doing, but I don't think pyramid schemes and building robots go together.
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