In a Relationship

Not sure what I'm supposed to do if Olek and GP don't blog after I have. =/

Anyway, someone wrote into mX's "Lost in Love" saying that her boyfriend of four years refuses to change their relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and even refuses to add her as a friend on Facebook. Most of the replies said that she should dump him, although one reply said that if she's decided whether or not to end the relationship based on something small like that, then she's immature.

As soon as MrMan5.5 and I were together, I changed my status to in a relationship with him, and he accepted not long after. I didn't think there was anything complicated about it, and no reason not to change my status. QC said that people normally wait a month or so before changing it, but I don't see the point. If the relationship doesn't last that long, I can just change it back, and it saves having to explain to people that we're no longer together - at least to anyone who cares enough to check facebook feeds.

I don't know how much value you can place in Facebook relationship status anyway. So many people change their status from "single" to "married"/"in an open relationship" and when asked about it, they say it's a joke. I remember Person being confused when his girlfriend dropped their relationship status on Facebook, and changed hers to being married to her best friend. When she tried to add their relationship back, he didn't accept right away so she got angry.

Still, I think even if the writer's boyfriend doesn't use Facebook, there is no harm in taking 10 seconds to add someone and accept their relationship request, so why is he so against it? OK, so if his profile is inactive and people notice activity, they might start spamming him again, but then it takes maybe another 10 seconds to create an email filter, or change your Facebook settings to disable email notifications so that you don' t receive spam, and you can write a post on your wall asking people not to contact you through Facebook. So it's 20 seconds of effort vs. hours of nagging from your girlfriend, I know which one I'd pick!

Personally, I've always wondered why people hide their relationship status on Facebook. I guess there is a "it's none of your business" element to it, but it's Facebook! You're supposed to have your friends on it, or at least people you know, and if they know you, surely they would know that you're in a relationship. So I think people who hide their relationship status on Facebook are really trying to hide something else...

And here is the part you were all expecting! Some people may recall Daniel, who I met at a Google party and there was much um-ing and ah-ing over whether I did in fact have feelings for him and more importantly, whether he was married with two kids. After three attempts to try and get him to do something with me, it was revealed that he a) had a girlfriend, b) she knew about me and my "attempts to steal him" and she probably wanted to chop my head off. Even now, reading through a chatlog that QC sent me, it still makes me a bit sad. Anyway, all of this could have been avoided if he had listed himself as being in a relationship with her. A quick stalk of his blog shows that he still hasn't done it, or even added her as a friend, so it may be the case that she doesn't use Facebook. Even if she doesn't, there is an option to list your relationship status without another person, but he hasn't even done that.

I remember sitting with Charmeleon looking at the photos he has been tagged in trying to work out if there was a significant other in his life. He said that nearly every picture of his brother also features his brother's girlfriend (now wife), so if there is a person who features in most of the photos, chances are, he isn't single. I just had a quick look through my own photos on Facebook, and MrMan isn't in most of them, but the ones that he is in with me are the couple-type photos that people take, so I think based on photos alone, you can tell that we're together. Just went to stalk a few other profiles of people in a relationship and just found out they're now single. =( Now re-stalking Daniel's Facebook, I find him in couple-type photos with other females who are either listed as single or in a relationship with someone else! So maybe Charmeleon's theory doesn't quite hold.

OK, enough FaceStalking™ for tonight, really have to stop doing that.