Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?

Miranda: When someone gets married, all bets are off. They're married and we're the enemy.
Sam: Married women are threatened because we can have sex any time, anywhere, with anyone. And they're afraid we're gonna have it any time, anywhere with their husbands.
-Sex and the City, Episode 3, Season 1
A friend of mine asked me whether I thought her boyfriend was good-looking. Before I could even think of Admiral Ackbar, I was already feeling the pressure to give some answer, any answer, to the impossible question.

It reminded me of an episode of Sex and the City (where the above quote comes from) where Carrie stays with a married couple in the Hamptons. Upon leaving her room in the morning, she is greeted by the sight of the husband, without any pants or underwear on. She comments on this to the wife, and is promptly kicked out of their house.

I know that I'm not single now, but I really couldn't think of any other reason why I'd be asked such a question other than my friend trying to gain some insight into whether I was interested in her boyfriend. I figured the truth shall set you free, and so I told her honestly what I thought, but I don't know whether I was expected to lie or not. If I said that I thought he was unattractive, then would that make her think that I thought she could do better, or that I thought that he was lacking in some way, even though the real reason behind it would be that he wasn't my cup of tea (there are people who think that Justin Beiber is hot)? If I said that I thought he was attractive, then would that make her think that I wanted him?

Personally, I don't care whether anyone else thinks MrMan5.5 is good-looking or not. He is my boyfriend, so it should really only matter if I do - I'm the one who has to wake up next to his Heath-Ledger-in-The-Dark-Knight face, after all (I'm joking! >_>). To be perfectly honest, ever since I was asked that question, I've felt a little subconscious about how I act when I'm around them. I don't want to give the impression that I'm after him, but I also don't want to appear as though I'm acting fake. So I end up trying to act natural, even though I'm pretty sure that by trying to be natural, I end up giving the impression that my behaviour is forced in someway. It doesn't help that every time he makes a joke and I start laughing I start to worry that she thinks we have some sort of inside joke now that she isn't a part of.

I know inside my head that I'm probably over-thinking everything, and that this is just me being neurotic, but I can't help it. I can't come up with any other reason for someone to ask such a question. Anyone else have any ideas?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

She could be intending to ask you to take part in a threesome ;)

Fodder said...

Everyone knows that the third person in a threesome should be a stranger. See Gossip Girl, season 3.

Olek said...

This post is crazy. How can you go through life all the time trying to outguess people and feeling responsible for their feelings?

It doesn't matter what you say, it's what it means. By which I mean you should be able to tell someone that their bf is/isn't good looking without implying that you want them or that they should drop them.

If it's misinterpreted then a) they're jumping to conclusions that are wrong and b) they're ludicrously insecure.

Olek said...

Oh btw, I think your bf is pretty OH SNAP

Does this mean you won't play SC2 with me now? :P

gwon said...

I dunno, she might want a second opinion. Like asking someone if they think Justin Bieber is hot.