During a drunken conversation with a friend (he was drunk, not me - I don't need to be drunk to spill my guts, just lacking sleep) the topic of friends with benefits came up and my friend asked me how I managed to find one as he said he wanted one, too. I told him that an FWB is probably not what he really wants, but I don't think he agrees. Anyway, I used to get asked this question a lot, and even now I can't really say that I have an answer. So instead, I'm just going to try to recall how it all began and maybe any potential FWB seekers can take from it what they like.
This is probably the closest I will come to revealing Charmeleon's identity, and if it does happen I hope he sees it as advertisement or something.
So we met at a dinner with some friends where I got the impression that he was one of those people who loves the sound of his own voice. Later, we went to an arcade (in typical Asian-style) where he challenged me to a game neither of us knew how to play, so it just became a button-mashing fest (I still claim that he only won because his hands are bigger and he could press more buttons at once). This was something so playful and silly, which was such a contrast to my first impression of him.
A few days later, he message me in game and when I found out who his character was, I couldn't believe it. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was an ass and I had trouble believing that he could possibly be the same funny guy I met at dinner. So maybe it was cognitive dissonance that made me agree to dinner and bowling with him (though at the time I didn't realise it was meant to be just the two of us, so I asked my guildies if they were also going and heard some rather unflattering things about Charmeleon in the process - although now that I think about it, they weren't that far off the mark).
Adding more to the contrast was the fact that he brought his own bowling ball to dinner. I don't know why, but I thought that was so incredibly ridiculous and it just seemed to add to the surprising nature I wad starting to see. Then he invited his cousin along to join us.
Fast forward to him inviting me over to his house for somewhere to study 254 and him offering to give me a back rub which turned into sex. The first few times I wasn't entirely sure what was between us. Were we together (exclusive or not) or was it just sex? It felt like he was avoiding saying anything either way, but I figured it out eventually. I decided I was OK with it. I think if he had just asked outright I would probably have said no.
Although seeing each other was pretty much sex related, I don't think I was just seeing him for his penis, he was funny, smart and playful - all qualities that I think are good in a guy. Sometimes I felt bad like I was using him, but SP told me that if he's getting sex out of it, then he's probably OK with it. Still, he was the one who tried to teach me to deep throat and I am still sad that I never got to master it despite all the practice he let me have. :(
It was nice and simple, but there was a downside to it. Probably due to my neurotic nature, but sometimes I wondered if maybe Charmeleon would one day wake up and be bored of me. I just felt pressure to be this fun person around him and didn't feel comfortable being me all the time. I would always here things from guys in WoW saying their girlfriend would be perfect if she would have sex on demand and not complain so much. So that's what I figured a FWB was supposed to be.
That's mostly why I tell people they're not after an FWB but after a bf/gf. MrMan5.5 wants to be with me when I'm feeling happy, sexy or playful, but he also wants to be with me when I feel like sinking into a hole and waiting for the world to go past. We can be ourselves around each other and there isn't that fear of him suddenly becoming bored (which could still happen but I think it is less likely so I don't think about it often).
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