When it rains, it pours. I've already blogged about seeing Daniel again, and now both RB and MrMan5 have reappeared. I was pretty surprised, as I never really got to resolve anything with MrMan5. After my expedition to work up the courage to ask him out, I only managed to do it through a Facebook message, and he never replied.
(Which, by the way, is something that is pretty heartless. For the first couple of days, I told myself that maybe he hadn't read it, as he was too busy, or just hadn't had the chance to get online. But as the days went by, that excuses was harder and harder to hold onto, and so in the end, I had to move out of that denial phase and accept that he just didn't want me. Then there was all the self-analysis that came afterwards, but there was a little part of me that held onto the hope that maybe he would wake up one day and decide to take a chance. Would have been so much nicer if he had just let me know at the start and I could have gotten over it sooner.)
I was just thinking about the different ways that I reacted to coming into contact with all of them again. Well, RB doesn't count in a way, Graham said he wanted to meet up with us, but I still chat to him online every now and again, so it's not out of the blue, and doesn't carry any weird feelings. I wish things with all of my past male interests could have ended up the same way things are with RB now.
With Daniel, I wanted to be an ice queen. Courteous, but a stone wall. He used flirt... it's not very effective. This is probably all in my head, but it felt a bit powerful. The last time we met, he was definitely the one with the power (and I probably had too much to drink), but this time, I felt so in control. He would try a line, and I'd lead him to think that maybe it was working, then BAM! Blue balls. OK, now I know it was all definitely in my head, as I doubt he was even thinking that much about it, but hey, if it's something that makes me feel good about myself, then it's a good thing, right?
With MrMan5, I find that there's this part of me that's a little puppy, wanting his attention. Wanting him to see that I've actually done OK for myself - I have a (maybe) good job, I'm in a happy relationship, and I've actually moved out of home. I'm not the complete mess of a person I was all those years ago. Although, I have to attribute a lot of that to MrMan5.5, so maybe if something had happened between me and MrMan5, I wouldn't be the person that I am today.
Before I go to bed though, I want to admit something that I'm not all that proud of. I stopped stalking MrMan5's Facebook page for a long time now, but every time a mutual friend tells me something bad has happened to him, I feel good about it. I know it's wrong, because he's such a nice person, but I honestly can't stop myself. Maybe now is my chance to redeem myself.
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I only missed two WiiFit sessions this week, which is probably a good thing, as I'm starting to feel sore from all the muscle and yoga exercises.
So last week, I was at 66kg, and this week, I am at 66.5kg. It's a reverse of what I wanted, but I guess that is mostly due to all the eating out I have done over the past week. I'm finding that I like WiiFit Plus a lot more than WiiFit, as it allows you to queue up a bunch of exercises which saves a lot of menu time (which is one of the things I really didn't like about WiiFit, and most games with excessive menu transitions).
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