Why, Why, Why, Why, Why?!

Reading ABCOTD and came across this comment:

Women are such jealous creatures...

Red Fraggle, you're absolutely wrong. I cheat on my girlfriend all the time, and it's nothing. She's too dumb to figure it out anyway. Hell, I think I even gave her herpes recently. I know I've got it now from her friend, and by now I'm sure she does too. If she ever finds out, I'll just accuse her of cheating and walk out. She'll be pissed for a bit, but she's kinda needy, so she'll come back, asking me to take her back. Aint even a thang!

(Red Fraggle's comment was essentially, "Cheating is a strange thing. It takes so much energy to do, but yet the cheater will always behave as if it was effortless. Expressions like, "it was nothing" and "moment of weakness" come to mind.")

I really hope the person is trolling, but for some reason, I don't think so. Someone please explain to me how someone can be such an asshole. I guess he just doesn't really care about his girlfriend all that much, because just the thought that MrMan5.5 would hate me for the rest of my life is enough of a deterrent for me.

How it Started

Maybe an O.5 post. Read at your own peril! I am too sleepy at the moment to have thought the entire contents of this post through.

During a drunken conversation with a friend (he was drunk, not me - I don't need to be drunk to spill my guts, just lacking sleep) the topic of friends with benefits came up and my friend asked me how I managed to find one as he said he wanted one, too. I told him that an FWB is probably not what he really wants, but I don't think he agrees. Anyway, I used to get asked this question a lot, and even now I can't really say that I have an answer. So instead, I'm just going to try to recall how it all began and maybe any potential FWB seekers can take from it what they like.

This is probably the closest I will come to revealing Charmeleon's identity, and if it does happen I hope he sees it as advertisement or something.

So we met at a dinner with some friends where I got the impression that he was one of those people who loves the sound of his own voice. Later, we went to an arcade (in typical Asian-style) where he challenged me to a game neither of us knew how to play, so it just became a button-mashing fest (I still claim that he only won because his hands are bigger and he could press more buttons at once). This was something so playful and silly, which was such a contrast to my first impression of him.

A few days later, he message me in game and when I found out who his character was, I couldn't believe it. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was an ass and I had trouble believing that he could possibly be the same funny guy I met at dinner. So maybe it was cognitive dissonance that made me agree to dinner and bowling with him (though at the time I didn't realise it was meant to be just the two of us, so I asked my guildies if they were also going and heard some rather unflattering things about Charmeleon in the process - although now that I think about it, they weren't that far off the mark).

Adding more to the contrast was the fact that he brought his own bowling ball to dinner. I don't know why, but I thought that was so incredibly ridiculous and it just seemed to add to the surprising nature I wad starting to see. Then he invited his cousin along to join us.

Fast forward to him inviting me over to his house for somewhere to study 254 and him offering to give me a back rub which turned into sex. The first few times I wasn't entirely sure what was between us. Were we together (exclusive or not) or was it just sex? It felt like he was avoiding saying anything either way, but I figured it out eventually. I decided I was OK with it. I think if he had just asked outright I would probably have said no.

Although seeing each other was pretty much sex related, I don't think I was just seeing him for his penis, he was funny, smart and playful - all qualities that I think are good in a guy. Sometimes I felt bad like I was using him, but SP told me that if he's getting sex out of it, then he's probably OK with it. Still, he was the one who tried to teach me to deep throat and I am still sad that I never got to master it despite all the practice he let me have. :(

It was nice and simple, but there was a downside to it. Probably due to my neurotic nature, but sometimes I wondered if maybe Charmeleon would one day wake up and be bored of me. I just felt pressure to be this fun person around him and didn't feel comfortable being me all the time. I would always here things from guys in WoW saying their girlfriend would be perfect if she would have sex on demand and not complain so much. So that's what I figured a FWB was supposed to be.

That's mostly why I tell people they're not after an FWB but after a bf/gf. MrMan5.5 wants to be with me when I'm feeling happy, sexy or playful, but he also wants to be with me when I feel like sinking into a hole and waiting for the world to go past. We can be ourselves around each other and there isn't that fear of him suddenly becoming bored (which could still happen but I think it is less likely so I don't think about it often).

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Past My Bedtime

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
And there's a thousand ways you can skin it
-If It's Love, Train

As I say to pretty much everyone who asks about working at a casino, the job itself is fun, but the hours suck. If I want to spent time with people during "normal" hours, unless I have a buffer day, I usually end up feeling sleepy and struggle to pay attention to what people are saying. Worse is when I still have to go to work that night. (I had work both the day before and the day of Doris' engagement party, and even with 2 Red Bulls, I was struggling to calculate 17 x 3 + 35 x 3 - something I normally know off the top of my head (156, in case you were wondering, and there is the something new you've learned for the day).)

Although when I don't have anything planned, I find it easier just to keep my work sleeping pattern rather than try to adjust it to normal time, and the adjust back when I have work. Someone suggested I just wake up during the day, then go to work, and then sleep after work, but I find that I usually start to feel really tired around 1AM when I do that. So instead I wake up at 6PM, go to work, then play games or read until 6AM when I go to sleep. Isn't that what people who work 9-5 do: sleep before work, and then after work do some stuff then go to bed, to be fresh for another day of gold farming?

I'm starting to feel a bit nostalgic for the days of LNS (Late Night Settlers (of Catan)). It was nice having the regular 2nd floor crew who would be up at crazy times of the night to play Settlers with. I guess now I have LNSC - Late Night Starcraft. It doesn't feel the same though, as there isn't really a group of us who are on at a regular time, and when I am most active, it is usually only Julian and Adrian who are also on. Then again, they are also the only two diamond (the highest rank) players on my friends list, so maybe staying up so late indicates something...


I'm just starting to wonder what will happen once I start full-time work. Oh, I guess I should mention now, I ended up getting 2 grad position offers, and will be starting work next year. I didn't tell many people at the time as I thought a friend of mine would be upset at the news, but I am told he is happy for me, so I guess it's OK now. So my biggest worry now is adjusting to a different sleeping pattern. Casino workers end up befriending each other because we all keep the same hours. Will I lose my current LNS2 crew?

Speaking of casino friends, HunterKiller was apparently calling my name to get my attention one night, and it he said that I didn't turn around until he called out "Monkeyfodder". Then he called me an SC2 addict, but he's the guy who once greeted me by punching me twice in the back saying, "Backstab, kidney shot." I think he is the addict.-_-

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