Moving Forward

Guess I should put the important stuff at the top, since not everyone will read all the way down to the bottom. Have handed in my letter of resignation, and so won't have any income until next year. This means I shouldn't spend so much on Christmas and I know I said that I was going to do this last year, but last year I made eclairs and transporting them around wasn't so easy. So I'm thinking shortbread and gingerbread, but that doesn't seem like enough variety. I want to make eclairs again, because they're fun to make, but the cream is a problem. :( Mince pies, which are more Christmas-y will probably have the same problem. So does anyone have any suggestions for what I should include?

Now that I have a full time job, and will be starting soon, it seems like I have started thinking about the big stuff quite a lot, in particular, the 3 Ms: moving out, marriage and motherhood.

MrMan5.5 and I are planning to start looking at places to move out after we get back from Japan. I know we're not going to be able to afford some super fancy place, but I think that if we're going to live somewhere, it's a good idea to think about the things that are important to me, and the things that aren't so important. I've lived not far from the CBD my whole life, and so I would prefer to be close, but I think in the end, if I have to travel, I have to travel. It's not that important to me to live really close if it means paying a lot more, and giving up something else. I don't want to live in some apartment the size of a shoebox just so I can be right in the heart of the CBD.

The most important thing to me would have to be a decent kitchen. When I was planning my ninja move out earlier, I saw so many places that had what I wouldn't even call a kitchen. I'm not expecting about a modern, stainless-steel kitchen, but honestly, if there is only a microwave, that hardly constitutes a "kitchen".

What I'd also like, but isn't essential, is enough space to have people over for dinner. It's something I've always wanted to do, but I don't really expect to be able to do it in the first place I move out to. Mum doesn't like having people over, and she or dad almost always cooks dinner, so it's not really something I can do now, but I really like the idea of having a few friends over for dinner. Maybe we can watch a movie or something afterwards. Just a relaxing night in. Plus, it'll give me a chance to practice my cooking!

Probably because Lucy likes weddings so much, and because I've had an all-time high number of friends get married this year(2), I've been thinking about marriage a lot. I read an article by a woman who commended on the fact that women are meant to wear an engagement ring, and men aren't. Does that mean women are taken off the market the moment they say "Yes", but men don't make the jump until the big day? I also wondered where does the man's wedding ring come from? Is he meant to buy his own ring when he proposes, or is she meant to have a ring to preempt his proposal? Or is she meant to buy the ring later after she accepts? I asked Lucy and she said that Julian gave her a ring when he proposed, and she bought a ring for him later.

So that begs the question, what do you do when the woman proposes? If I wanted to pop the question to MrMan5.5, am I meant to buy myself a ring? If he says yes, is he also agreeing to pay for the ring? Can I buy him a ring, and then he wears an engagement ring instead of me (but then people might think that he's married when he's not)? The biggest question I want to know the answer to, is does he become the bride and I become the groom?

I was talking to Lucy about potential bridesmaids, after she and Kelly have both had trouble with the whole bridesmaid thing. She said that it's important to pick bridesmaids that are easy-going, as the day is meant to be about you, not them, and if they're not easy-going, then they'll cause drama on your big day. I think maid of honour would have been easy to pick, but since MrMan5.5 has 3 good male friends, I'd have to pick two other bridesmaids, and the third one I'm a bit unsure about. If I could have groomsmen, then it would be so much easier I think. The number of easy-going guys who I have known for a long time, and feel close to is much higher than the number of easy-going girls who I have known for a long time and feel close to.

Then I just remind myself, that neither of us has accepted a marriage proposal, so why not cross this bridge when I get to it?

Being a mother seems like such a daunting prospect. The thing is, every time it comes up, and I mention that I'd like to do experiments on my children, I get told that I'm a horrible person. Only a few people have asked me what kind of experiments I'd like to do - and in case anyone has forgotten, I did study developmental psychology, and one of the most respected researchers in that field did a lot of his observations on his own children. So can you really fault me for wanting to find some stuff out with my own? I don't think I want to become a researcher, as I really don't want to get into that whole mess of author/co-author, who gets credit? I also don't want to have to mess around with ethics committees and sucking up to people so that I can get funding.

I'm just waiting for MrMan5.5's friend to finish his cloning/gene splitting research so that I can have 8 genetically identical children in order to rule out genetic factors.

It feels like an exciting time of change, and I'm looking forward to it. :)