I'd like to go to bed soon, so going to do a brain dump on this one.
Story behind this isn't nearly as cute as the one behind YN, IMO. It was Anzac Day, and I was busy finishing a psych lab report when he dropped the bomb on me. Unlike the previous time, I felt happy, but I think the need to finish my essay overruled any inclination to jump up and down with glee.
However, his job meant that it wouldn't be very good if his employers found out we were together - as he was a tutor of sorts. It meant that a lot of the time we spent together was in private, and I don't think we really went on any "dates". The one movie we did see was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And by see, I mean it in we-didn't-really-see-it sense.
I was very indecisive about whether we were actually together, or whether we should even be together. Considering the huge age gap between us (13 years), I knew my mum wouldn't be very happy if she ever found out. Then there was the complication of his job. But the biggest factor for me was the fact that he seemed like he had never really gotten over his ex-girlfriend and childhood friend. The fact that they were living together for a while made things a bit awkward.
There were a lot of "break ups", usually at my initiation. But we would usually get back together afterwards. I didn't realise it at the time, but I think the age gap did have an effect on us. I was really starting to get into WoW at this point, and he was somewhat of a technophobe. He used his computer to play chess online, and that was pretty much it. He liked having new gadgets, but only because he wanted to show off, not because he cared about any of the new features.
The worse characteristic he had was his competitiveness. He tried to get into gaming, I think for my sake. I brought over my PS2 and he had rented bunch of games - one of them being Space Invaders. It had a competitive mode where one player would have their laser cannon at the top, and the other would have theirs at the bottom. There were shields on both sides, and the invaders were in the middle. The goal was to shoot each other without getting killed by the invaders. I beat him at that, and then I beat him at DDR, too. He was getting quite worked up that he was losing, so I thought it might be a good idea to take a break, but he refused. His housemate tried to get him to stop as well, but that just made him even angrier. I played one more song, and managed to keep my score just barely under his so it wouldn't look as though I had let him win. He started saying how he knew he could beat me and I asked him to drive me home.
One of the other factors where age played a part was the fact that he was a bit bitter. I was in my second year of uni, and it felt like my whole life was in front of me, there were so many things I could do. He was at the point where he had pretty much settled into the only job he would be able to do, and he was pretty negative about a lot of things. Some nights, he would talk about things and I would feel like there was this huge weight being dropped on me, and I wanted to help him lift it up. But other nights, I was just too tired.
We broke up for good around the time I met MB, and it felt so good to be able to hang around someone my own age, who understood things that AG never would. AG probably had his reasons for saying some of the things he did, and I'm sure based on his experiences, it was good advice, but I think it was important for me to learn those things on my own.
He went overseas to work for a while, and by the time he returned, MB and RB had passed by. He tried to rekindle things again. Time had made me forget all the bad things about being with him, and remember all the good things, and I was really tempted. Then I was reminded of what someone told me during Scav Hunt. He said that all I have to do is think about how wrinkly his penis is. So it was a wrinkly penis, and RH who helped stop me from going back.
What I learned about myself: Despite the fact that we never went on "dates", I enjoyed the frequency with which we spent with each other (around once a week). It left me a lot of time for WoW, and uni, but not so infrequently that I felt like he didn't care. I sometimes wonder if he was the only reason I played chess - I can't even remember the last time I played, and even though I still went to the chess club after we broke up, it was mostly to catch up with the other people, rather than play chess. Being with him showed me the ugly side of competitiveness, and I think that was one of the reasons why I refused to take part in anything competitive for a long time. I never want to become like that, but I can see it happening.
(A mutual friend told me that he is currently dating someone in China, and frequently flies back and forth from Australia to be with her. Facebook let me down.)
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