On a different not-a-date with Captain, he invited me to a VFL game between Collingwood and Richmond.
I guess I should explain the whole not-a-date thing, as I don't think I did last time. We were talking about what made something a date, and we both agreed that eating a lobster meal with only one other person would constitute a date. I don't remember why, but a few months later, a week before Captain's birthday, I found a calendar reminder telling me to buy a lobster for Captain. He reminded me about the lobster date thing, and we decided to have a regular dinner instead.
I've been to a couple of AFL matches before, but this was my first VFL game. I wanted the true Aussie football experience, which involves eating a meat pie, and getting hit in the face by a football.
It was a disaster from the start, as Captain's phone died, so he had no way to contact me (I knew this beforehand). He wasn't at our designated meeting spot, which wasn't real as I asked all the staff where it was and nobody seemed to know. I thought I saw him inside already, but all Collingwood supporters look the same, so it was a bit hard to tell. The staff were really nice though, and they all took a guess at where the meeting spot might have been and helped me get there. Which was lucky, because that's when Captain showed up, apologising as his train line had issues.
On to the football!
Part 1 was easily accomplished (copious amounts of tomato sauce is a must, it's un-Australian otherwise).
I probably should have removed it from the wrapper rather than tried to hold it inside the wrapper. RIP tomato sauce on wrapper. :(
Before the game was really bizarre. There was a guy in a Collingwood T-shirt (not the official jersey) doing laps around the ground. Captain and I were trying to work out who he was. He didn't seem like a player, as he didn't join the other players when they all finished their warm-up. Captain suggested maybe the coach was punishing him for being late, but when he passed us, I said, "It's not good to be late" and he didn't turn around. Maybe he just didn't hear me. Then I thought maybe he was warming up the grass, kinda like how in cricket, they have those rollers for the pitch. But he only seemed to be running around the boundary, and I don't think the grass needs to be warmed up there. Unfortunately, the game started before we could figure out who he was and why he was doing laps (he probably did 10-15 laps in the time we were watching).
I tried my best for part 2. We were sitting right at the boundary (because it seems nobody really attends VFL games).
I also discovered that in Australian rules football, you're allowed to tackle and hold on to another player as long as they have the ball. It's their responsibility to get rid of the ball, and if they don't, you get a free kick! No wonder why the blood rule is important.
My favourite is the guy with the neon yellow socks - Captain said he's a boundary umpire. He's amazing at running backwards. And forwards. I feel like I want to start learning to run backwards, too.
But Captain said you're not allowed to barrack for the umpires and I had to choose between Collingwood and Richmond. Fortunately, I was spared from having to decide as Collingwood scored their first point. I'd like to point out that the score was something like 1-36, in Richmond's favour. Which I find hilarious as Captain was telling me how his high school soccer team beat MrFodder's high school soccer team 37-0. Though I feel like maybe he was exaggerating, as 37 goals in soccer is a lot more than 36 points in Aussie rules.
I started to feel like Captain was only there to see Mason Cox. During the quarter time break, we were allowed to go onto the ground and stand near the Collingwood player huddle. Captain gleefully pointed out how Mason Cox towers over everyone else, but he only seemed slightly taller than some of the other players in the huddle. He definitely towered over me, and I felt so short standing where I was. I could have been trampled! Not to mention all the kids who were around playing football on the field.
Oh, I also learned that there are team runners (the people in bright pink). Since the field is so wide, in order for the coach to give instructions, they tell the runners and the runners will run onto the field and relay the instructions to the players, including who is coming on or off. I don't think I've ever noticed them in a game before, but it makes sense, as you can't really shout instructions from the coaching box to the other side of the field, and if you did have a megaphone or something, you'd really ruin the atmosphere for the spectators. "OI! JOHNSTON, YOU'RE OFF!"
Collingwood did manage to score a goal in the 2nd quarter, bringing the score to something like 8-42. They finally manage to overtake Richmond with 5-ish minutes left to go in the last quarter. It seems like the time on the board isn't an accurate indicator of how much time is left in the game as the time gets "paused" when a player takes a mark and chooses not to play on, and various other things over the course of the game. There's someone whose job is to just record how much "extra time" there is in the match.
I also discovered a new idol during the game. It is now my goal in life to have a lens like this:
In the remaining time, Collingwood seems to fall apart, and Richmond quickly takes the lead back. They are ahead at the end of the quarter (at least when the quarter s supposed to end), and they are also comfortably ahead when the buzzer sounds.
Final score:
Richmond: 12G, 13B = 85 points
Collingwood 11G, 7B = 73 points
Captain walks dejectedly out of the grounds, and I follow him. There were still kids everywhere kicking footballs around. And then it happens. A woman tries to throw a football at her kid (at least I think it's hers), and I happen to be in the way. It gently clips the side of my head, I barely feel it, but it's good enough for me. I got hit on the head by a football at a match! Obviously, the next move is to start grinning like a maniac.
So now there's this bogan-looking woman (Collingwood supporter, of course) staring at me, and I look over at her kid who is holding the ball which just hit me, then I turn to look back at her with a giant grin on my face. And I really don't know what's going through her mind right now. I mean, you'd expect some sort of apology or something, but she just keeps staring back at me, her mouth opening and closing and no words are actually coming out. And I'm just grinning at her, happy that I managed to accomplish all of my football goals.
At this point, I'm kinda worried that she is angry at me for some reason, so I shout over to her, "Thanks!" and bounce off to join Captain.
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