In one of my favourite books, The Blue Nowhere, there's a part where one of the main characters mentions how he spent most of his time in jail reciting his passwords to himself so that he wouldn't forget them. He has a different password for all the various accounts he had, and all of them weren't your standard pet's name, mother's maiden name, etc. passwords, but just random strings of characters that he committed to memory over time. Passwords are an important thing to computer geeks (well, everyone really, but it seems to be more of a concern for them), must choose one that is hard to guess, but not too difficult to remember. My greatest memories of first, second and third year software engineering were of trying to find a password that muruke would be happy with. The stupid thing doesn't accept passwords that are similar to your old passwords, and must be at least 7 characters long with a non-alphanumeric character in it.
A couple of months ago, I opened my perform script in front of MrMan5.5 and he saw the password I use for mIRC. Even though I know it's not safe, I happen to use that password for a lot of things. =/ So he accidentally gained access to a lot of my online life. Not only that, but one night, I was too lazy to get out of bed to check my email, so I asked him to do it for me (our 440 process says we have to check our email every night after 5PM), so he also knows my password for email.
It's not the first time people have gotten access to things. I've given my WoW password to quite a few people (that password is one of the ones that isn't used anywhere else). When it happened, I realised what it meant that he knew my password, but it didn't really bother me all that much - at least not as much as I thought it should.
Makes me think about couples who are going through a rough patch, and then one person suddenly wonders if the other is cheating and tries to find out by setting up keyloggers, or reading emails/SMSs, or following them around while trying to look inconspicuous. To me, that shows a complete lack of trust in your partner, but you have to wonder if there was behaviour that caused this person to act so distrustful. I still talk to Charmeleon, and he still flirts, but that's just because he's a flirty person. MrMan5.5 says that he believes that I'm not doing anything behind his back, but sometimes I worry that I've given him cause to wonder what I do when he's not around.
I guess that's part of the reason I haven't gone crazy changing my passwords for everything. I've left my iPod at his house, which I kinda used as an external hard drive for a bit, so it has my chat logs and old SMSs stored on it. I don't care that he reads the SMSs on my phone (well, to be honest, I do care a bit - as I said, it's a sign of distrust, but it's not that big a deal as my SMSs are all boring).
Even with all of that, it's impossible for him to be completely sure that I'm not writing this post while straddling some guy other than him right now - although the lack of typos (I hope) is a sign that it isn't the case, right? Part of me is scared that we'll become one of those couples who has keylogged each other's computers, and are now so paranoid of each other's actions that even going to class seems like it's just an excuse to meet up with someone in a dingy motel room. Part of me also knows that it's my own fault for being the way that I am, and since I blog about it, he knows about it, but I'd rather he knew than I tried to hide it and he discovered my true colours and got hurt.
Since we started dating, I haven't felt the urge to run away with someone else, although that might just be due to the whole "honeymoon period" thing that Beanie keeps talking about. I definitely have no intention to cheat, but there have been some times where I've thought, "One day he's going to wake up and realise he has made the biggest mistake of his life, so I should dump him before he dumps me." Which makes it weird that I've given him the information that I have - as he now gets to see, if he so chooses, who I was before I met him, and maybe get a glimpse of who I am when he's not around. Hopefully that is enough for him to sleep at night. At least I'm going to tell myself that so that I can.
A couple of months ago, I opened my perform script in front of MrMan5.5 and he saw the password I use for mIRC. Even though I know it's not safe, I happen to use that password for a lot of things. =/ So he accidentally gained access to a lot of my online life. Not only that, but one night, I was too lazy to get out of bed to check my email, so I asked him to do it for me (our 440 process says we have to check our email every night after 5PM), so he also knows my password for email.
It's not the first time people have gotten access to things. I've given my WoW password to quite a few people (that password is one of the ones that isn't used anywhere else). When it happened, I realised what it meant that he knew my password, but it didn't really bother me all that much - at least not as much as I thought it should.
Makes me think about couples who are going through a rough patch, and then one person suddenly wonders if the other is cheating and tries to find out by setting up keyloggers, or reading emails/SMSs, or following them around while trying to look inconspicuous. To me, that shows a complete lack of trust in your partner, but you have to wonder if there was behaviour that caused this person to act so distrustful. I still talk to Charmeleon, and he still flirts, but that's just because he's a flirty person. MrMan5.5 says that he believes that I'm not doing anything behind his back, but sometimes I worry that I've given him cause to wonder what I do when he's not around.
I guess that's part of the reason I haven't gone crazy changing my passwords for everything. I've left my iPod at his house, which I kinda used as an external hard drive for a bit, so it has my chat logs and old SMSs stored on it. I don't care that he reads the SMSs on my phone (well, to be honest, I do care a bit - as I said, it's a sign of distrust, but it's not that big a deal as my SMSs are all boring).
Even with all of that, it's impossible for him to be completely sure that I'm not writing this post while straddling some guy other than him right now - although the lack of typos (I hope) is a sign that it isn't the case, right? Part of me is scared that we'll become one of those couples who has keylogged each other's computers, and are now so paranoid of each other's actions that even going to class seems like it's just an excuse to meet up with someone in a dingy motel room. Part of me also knows that it's my own fault for being the way that I am, and since I blog about it, he knows about it, but I'd rather he knew than I tried to hide it and he discovered my true colours and got hurt.
Since we started dating, I haven't felt the urge to run away with someone else, although that might just be due to the whole "honeymoon period" thing that Beanie keeps talking about. I definitely have no intention to cheat, but there have been some times where I've thought, "One day he's going to wake up and realise he has made the biggest mistake of his life, so I should dump him before he dumps me." Which makes it weird that I've given him the information that I have - as he now gets to see, if he so chooses, who I was before I met him, and maybe get a glimpse of who I am when he's not around. Hopefully that is enough for him to sleep at night. At least I'm going to tell myself that so that I can.
1 comment:
I wrote out a long comment, and then LJ failed at OpenIDing with Blogger so it was lost. :(
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