Toilet Paper

J.D.: You know, but she's not moving in permanently. She's just crashing for a while.

Dr. Cox: About a year ago, Jordan said she wanted to "crash for a while." Now my office is a nursery, my closet is my office, my clothes are in the entertainment center, and my TV is in the john, which I guess is kind of nice...I don't even know any more.

Ted: Same thing happened to me. After my divorce, I told Mariana I was going to crash at her place for a few weeks, and we've been sharing a bed for eight years.

J.D.: Isn't Mariana your mother?
Ted: Hey, who are we talking about here, you or me?

Dr. Cox: Lookit, here's the rule, there, porn-star: The moment her toothbrush hits your sink, you've got yourself a permanent roomie.
-Scrubs: My Rule of Thumb (Season 3, Episode 10)

MrMan5.5 and I were talking about my leaving stuff as his place, as mum has given me a pair of PJs to leave there for when I stay the night (I usually wear jeans, and sleeping in jeans isn't all that comfortable). For me, leaving PJs there is equivalent to leaving my toothbrush there. While it is more convenient for the nights we spend watching Scrubs when I'm way too tired to drive home again, it seems like we're moving a little too fast.

Not long after we started going out, MrMan5.5 nearly gave me the password to his front gate. When he said he was going to, I completely freaked out. It was like he was giving me a key to his house, and at that point in time (and still now, I believe), that was something I wasn't ready for. Not that I could get into his house with that password, I could get past the front gate and eat all the mushrooms in his garden (I don't like mushrooms), but that's about it. Still, it just seemed like something as little as giving me free access to his front yard had so much more meaning to it.

The thing is, leaving PJs makes things easier for me, as I wouldn't have to sleep in jeans, but would doing something like that also have other implications? He didn't seem to think anything of it when I brought it up, but what if it makes him think something unconsciously, and he thinks I'm ready to move in with him, or move to 'the next level', or whatever happens in a relationship after you have the cutesy, super-sickly-sweet stage where almost everything is awesome and it seems like nothing will ever go wrong? Not that we haven't had problems (the private blog has been working well, in my opinion), but mostly, things have been good.

We went down to his beach house for a couple of days last weekend, and staying there with him was awesome. Of course, there is that whole, "It's nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" thing, in the sense that, it was a mini-holiday, so it wasn't like we were going to live together forever and I knew it would be temporary. Still, pigging out on popcorn and marshmallows while watching Scrubs with him was awesome, and I'd love to do that more often. Plus, he made me non-dairy, egg-free pancakes. =D

That's the thing, there are only so many episodes of Scrubs, only so many nights that I can spend eating marshmallows and popcorn (admittedly, they will last quite a while, but they're still limited!), and eventually, I wonder if spending time with him will still have that same magic that it has now. For most of our relationship, I'd only see AG maybe twice a week, and there was always some excitement there. If I were to live with MrMan5.5, I wonder if maybe I'd start filtering out his voice as background noise. Maybe it'd get to the point where we'd both sit in front of our computers talking to each other over Google Talk or during a game of DotA, without having any actual contact unless we were invited to go somewhere, and we'd have to argue about the best way of getting there and who would get to drive.

I know that I'm being silly, and it's just a pair of PJs, but what if that's just the start, and soon I'll have an assortment of stuff in his house? Not only will it be a pain to take home when we break up, but I'll start to wonder whether I've lost something, or just left it at his place. Plus, there's the other thought sitting in the back of my head - what if one day he's really angry at me, and well, there goes my copy of the first season of MacGyver. =/

Anyway, I'm going to stop reading into this so much, it's just a pair of PJs. I could bring them over every time I plan to sleep there, but most of the time I stay the night, it's wasn't intentional (MrMan5.5 fell asleep on my lap during She's All That - sif he found that movie boring! Then there was the time with Music and Lyrics and Enchanted - maybe I should stop trying to get him to watch chick flicks...), and PJs are so comfortable! I guess the best solution is to toss a coin next time I go to his place.