This post is full of fail on so many levels. Possibly all the levels. Faaark Anna.Quoting back to the post you linked yourself: "I’m not much of a touchy-feely person. I don’t like hugs, not a big fan of kissing." Um… wot? You just let some guy get touchy feely with you. Yes, let. You didn't have to. You could have gone the much more sensible and appropriate route of shouting to get someone’s attention. Eff eff ess. Sorry if this post lacked sympathy at what must have been a fairly traumatising experience, but you handled the situation really really stupidly.really summed up how stupid my actions were. It has been nearly 6 years, so I've gotten some distance from the situation now, and I can honestly say he was completely right. Why didn't I fight back? Why didn't I try to get some help? Why didn't I do so many things?
The answer to that was that I couldn't think properly. I don't even remember that guy's face, or really anything about him, but I do distinctly remember the feeling of fear. Every time I tried to think of a course of action, I felt like it was getting short circuited. Any physical response I could come up with was quickly shut down by the fact that he could easily overpower me. For some reason, I had this belief that as long as I was standing up, I'd be OK, so I didn't want him to try and tackle me to the ground. I guess it mostly worked out, as there was no rape. He just kissed my neck, said, "I'll never forget this", and walked away.
Now that I've been working out at the gym a lot, I think if the same thing were to happen to me again, I'd feel a lot more confident about taking someone on. Even if they're larger than me, I feel like I wouldn't go down without a fight. However, I've read that there's some guys who get off on having their victim fight back. So I don't know, I guess I'll just have to read the moment.
I had lunch with the PGC today, and some of them were talking about having been mugged just walking around in broad daylight. One of them was in her car, and someone came up to the driver's side, opened the door, and shoved her across to the passenger seat, then proceeded to take her GPS and phone. She said that she couldn't even remember what happened, it all happened so quickly. All of a sudden, she found herself seated in the passenger seat, and she wasn't entirely sure how she got there, but it was all over before she had even managed to cry out in surprise.
It makes me think, all the people who argue that the person should have fought back, or at least done something, don't really take into account what's going through your mind at the time. The memory is pretty fuzzy now, but I do recall thinking at some point, "Is this really happening to me?" I don't know, maybe that's the mind's defense mechanism, to just shut down and pretend it's all a dream, but I have a feeling that moment of doubt definitely slowed my response time by quite a bit.
I should definitely have shouted for help, or done anything else other than just stand there like an idiot. If anything, at least I'm much better at running away now than I was six years ago, so if it were to happen again, I really hope I'm wearing sensible shoes! Another thing that I'd do differently is that I'd try and stomp on his foot. I assume that the kind of person who would assault someone like that would be very experienced in defending against knee-to-the-groin type attacks, but it's a lot harder to notice that someone is about to stomp on your foot. Plus, as I learnt from Miss Congeniality, the instep is a sensitive area (and it's always important to SING - go for the Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin).
With any luck though, it'll never happen again. I think with all my yoga and pilates work, my posture is a lot better, and I believe that I walk with more confidence now than I did six years ago. So maybe I'll be a less viable target.
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