Unrequited

I've been thinking about whether requited or unrequited love is easier to get over when you have feelings for someone that you shouldn't (I should spend less time on the relationships subreddit, but I'm just addicted to reading these stories!). I'm leaning more towards unrequited love being easier to get over, because it has never really had a chance to form a root, so eventually, you can write it off as the other person not being interested, so it would never have gone anywhere anyway. On the other hand, you could argue that requited love is easier to get over, because you get a chance to play it out, and see where it goes, and find out that you actually can't stand this person when you have to spend more than a week with them.

So I said I was going to say goodbye to him, but I think he is a good example for this post. I was hung up on RH for a long, long time. Even after he stopped talking to me. The part that made getting over him hard was that his friend basically told me that he was interested in sleeping with me. I spent a lot of time thinking that I had made a huge mistake when I told him to block me. I just kept thinking, what if he was the one?

The opposite was someone I got along really well with. I developed a crush on him, only for him to drop the bomb - he had a girlfriend. I never said anything, and not long after, I dropped it.

My theory is that as long as you never find out that your feelings are returned, it only ever stays in fantasy land. Just like how you can have a crush on a character in a TV show, or a famous musician, you know in the back of your mind that it'll never happen. The entire thing is outside of your control. But once you find out they feel the same way, suddenly the range of options has drastically expanded. When I was in first year, I met MrMan5, who was a third year student at the time. I had a bit of a crush on him, but it didn't really mean anything, because I was dating YN at the time. Plus, he didn't ever notice me anyway, since I was JAFFY, so it didn't really register, and just became a background thing. I am not sure what would have happened if I had found out he was interested in me, because that would have been complicated by YN (and he had a girlfriend at the time as well, but I only found that out later). Again, he never expressed any interest in me, so it was really easy to move on from him (well, it took me 4 years, but I got there in the end, and it was never really a serious crush anyway).

I read a story on Reddit about a married guy who ended up going back to uni. He met a girl in one of his classes, and they got along really, really well. So much so that he ended up preferring to spend time with her than with his wife, and he couldn't stop thinking about her. He asked Reddit for advice on what to do, as he didn't want to leave his wife (as he is mostly happy with her), but this girl seemed like such a perfect match for him. As an added bonus, she seemed to be attracted to him.

A lot of the responses mentioned the fact that it was the honeymoon phase with this girl. He only saw her at uni, and they were both on their best behaviour. Unlike his wife, who he sees all the time in various situations. He is around his wife often enough to see all those little things she does that annoy him. He sees her without make up, or after she has just bawled her eyes out watching Up and looks so unattractive. With the uni girl, she probably always looks well-put-together. They're only together for a few hours when they have classes, so the annoying traits probably go completely unnoticed. Someone replied telling him not to tell the uni girl how he feels (unless he is seriously considering leaving his wife). All the awesome things about her probably won't be as awesome once he has spent a decent amount of time with her.

I'm not sure what happened to that guy, as he never posted again, but I have a feeling that trying to push away this other girl for the sake of his marriage is eating away at him. However, I think if he did confess to her, he would be strongly tempted to cheat with her, or leave his wife for her, only to find out that it was a honeymoon period. I don't think either of those options is very good. Though there is the outcome where he finds out that he is much happier with the uni girl, and that is definitely a possibility.

I am definitely on the unrequited love train. If there's someone out there that you think might be bad for you, keep your mouth shut, and move on, if possible. That being said, if there is someone out there that you do have feelings for, and you think that they would be a good match for you, then you should totally go for it! Remember, all of this was about having feelings for someone that you shouldn't have feelings for. Not that I am in this situation right now, so please don't try and read something into this blog post that isn't there! I don't have time for crazy impossible romantic fantasies at the moment, I have Year Beast Dota 2 games to play, and hats to win!