IWD Message

In response to my post about Settlers of Catan, Ephant wrote some great points, which I think you should read if you're interested in improving your game.

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Happy International Women's Day.

In an odd turn, I would like to spend IWD talking about me being a man. I hope I don't offend anybody with this post, as that his not my intent at all. It's just something that I've thought about on and off.

It started as an offhand comment, I was curious at what someone's reaction would be if I told them I used to be a man. While I'm not going to claim that I can read their mind, after the shock of my comment wore off, and there was a little bit of doubt, but I also felt like there was a feeling of, "Oh, suddenly it all makes sense". I do many things that are typically male-dominated: work in the finance sector and the technology sector, play computer games, play chess, enjoy fantasy and sci-fi fiction. These are also the biggest aspects of my personality, and often not many people get to see the "girly" things I do, like yoga, pilates and zumba. Sometimes I get the feeling that the people around me are wondering what's wrong with me.

Since that comment, I started thinking a little bit more about it. It would be nice to be automatically included in the office discussion on the new Star Wars trailer, and has lightsabre technology gone too far?! It would be nice when going to a LAN cafe not to have people wonder if I'm actually there to play games, or if I'm just the girlfriend of one of the others and only there to watch (disclaimer: nobody has actually said this out loud, so I don't know if anyone actually thinks this). It would be nice when meeting other teams at work to have people not assume that I'm the project manager or business analyst, and that yes, I'm the developer (although sometimes that worries me, because then it means I get all the tough questions). It would be nice to be able to use the in-game voice chat in Dota without sounding like a 13-year-old boy.

I know, I know, first world problems, and if that's the extent of the issues I have with being a woman, then perhaps I should just suck it up. All in all, there are worse problems out there, but I can't help but feel like maybe there is something wrong with me. What if somehow, a man got trapped inside my body, and rather than live the rest of his life pretending to be a woman, he has decided to just be himself?

Then I realise all of that is ridiculous. Other than making an easier initial impression on people, I don't think being a man would improve my life all that much. I know that all the "manly" things that I do can just as easily be done by a woman, and I know that because it's what I do every day. I don't need to change physical aspects of my body in order to do what I do, and nobody seems to have an issue with it (again, other than initial impressions).

I've done the opposite, and gone through phases of trying to be more "girly" and all of my attempts failed pretty miserably. The best advice around this that I've been given is to find the things that I enjoy doing, and do them, regardless of what stereotype it belongs to.

That's my message of empowerment, to people of every type of difference - do what you enjoy (as long as you don't hurt anyone in the process), and don't worry so much about what society says you should or shouldn't be doing.