I wrote about having a lower libido earlier, and I've been thinking a lot about the cause of it. I know I tend to think a lot more about sex when I'm bored, and to be honest, I have very little time left these days to be bored. Not because I'm super popular, but there's always one more Dota 2 game that I could fit in, or one more page of Reddit posts to read. Now I have these blog posts to write in my down time, and I have a heap of Steam games that I need to finish. Compared to when I was at my most sexually active, which was while I was at uni. I had tons of free time, and even though I had a lot to do (assignments), I had the freedom to procrastinate, and that gave me plenty of time to daydream about sex.
I've been reading a lot of posts on Reddit from men who feel tricked that their spouse appeared to be a nymphomaniac before marriage/kids, and is now completely uninterested in sex. MrMan5.5 and I did hit a rough patch about a year or so ago, but I've been working a lot harder on it. However, we are soon to be married, and who knows what will happen after that?
The subreddit I was browsing tends to have a mantra about how to handle a dead bedroom - leave, deal with it, or cheat. Fortunately, I do not think MrMan5.5 is in danger of cheating or leaving at the moment, which means the only option remaining is to deal with it. The thought of him suffering in silence makes me feel really sad. And he'll probably grow to resent me. There was a guy who kept a spreadsheet recording all of the times he asked his wife for sex, and her response, along with her excuse when she said no. I don't want MrMan5.5 to have to resort to that.
Something I've been trialing is trying to get myself to watch more porn. I know this sounds like a stealth brag, and I don't mean it to, but I have barely needed to watch porn since moving out with MrMan5.5. Usually if I do it, it's because I can't sleep. Perhaps that's also one of the causes of my low libido - not that I was watching lots of porn while living with my parents and with my computer in the same room as my brother's computer. I was reading more erotic literature back then though.
It has definitely helped, in fact, MrMan5.5 ended up turning me down once, and now I know how he feels when I tell him that now isn't a good time. It is going to require a conscious effort to maintain this though, as I can already feel the effects wearing off since the last time I binge watched some porn. I'm also a bit worried about the porn desensitisation effect, as even last time, there was a lot of stuff I was watching that I got really bored with, which rarely happened in the past. Maybe the quality has gone downhill since I last tried though. But I do want to stick with YouPorn, since they are sponsoring a Dota 2 team, so I want to give them my advertising cents. I will just need to get better at finding the decent videos.
Since this has just started, I can't really report on how successful it has been, but I am open to ideas from other people about different things I could do. This is my year of proactive problem solving, so I want to address this thing before it gets so bad that end up sucking some random woman's juices off MrMan5.5's dick.
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