Logistics: MBJ

Back in the day, SP used to link me porn videos that he thought were good. We'd watch them together in the sense that we'd both watch them and talk about it over MSN, not in the sense that we were in the same room, as he's one of those people I know from a game, but have never met. Yes, it's pretty weird to link someone else your favourite porn videos, just add it to the growing list of weird things I do. I just thought it was fascinating getting an idea of what other people find attractive.

Anyway, one of the videos he linked me started with this guy sleeping in bed. He was woken up with a blow job, and it turned out that the person giving him the blow job was his wife's sister. He started by saying it was wrong, and he loved his wife, but she convinced him that it was OK with her sister, so they continued. #pornLogic

Adultery aside, SP mentioned that it'd be really awesome to wake up to something like that (with your partner, not your partner's sibling or anyone else), so I filed it away in my brain for future reference.

When the opportunity finally presented itself (remember, before I accidentally turned myself into a morning person, I was a diehard night owl), I remember lying in bed thinking, "How am I actually going to do this?" For starters, not everyone seems to sleep naked. Removing someone's pants while they're asleep without waking them is a lot harder than it sounds. If the person happens to sleep with boxers, or pants with the ... I don't know what they're called, but it seems like it's a hole for convenient peeing, then it does make it easier.

The second problem is that the other person may not be sleeping on their back, and if they're like me, sleep all curled up in the doona. Then there's the problem of trying to get into a good position, again without waking the person.

I know what you're thinking, isn't the entire point that the person does wake up? Well, according to SP, the good thing about it is waking up when you're already in the thick of things, not right at the start.

There's also the question of consent. It almost feels like it's on the border of rape, but even if the person consented beforehand, there's the question of whether they want to sleep. I love my sleep, and I would be pretty angry if someone woke me up for sex.

As I was lying there, I was thinking that sometimes there are little things in porn that are unrealistic, but realistic enough that you can suspend belief while watching it. I mean, sure, you suspend belief, because I'm sure there aren't that many pizza delivery men delivering pizzas with a side of extra sausage, or naughty nurses looking for alternate ways to help you get better. Maybe it's just me, and even with movies, if I'm not watching it for the sake of it purposely being bad, I struggle to enjoy it if there's something that seems improbable.

In the end, I started watching MrFodder sleep, like a creeper. I swear, all of my creepy actions have good intentions behind them!